Unlocking Human Connection in the Digital Age: Insights from Robin Nathaniel

Russell Newton: 00:00:00

Hello listeners and welcome back to The Science of Self, where

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you improve your life from the inside out.

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We have another guest with us today.

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I'm excited to introduce

to you, Robin, Nathaniel.

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Tell us about you.

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Introduce yourself and let

our listeners get to know you.

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Robin Nathaniel: Russell,

thank you so much.

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Really excited to be on the show.

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Really I start off by

saying I'm a two time dad.

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Like, that's my, like, my crowning

achievement is being a two time dad.

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One of the most rewarding exper

experiences in my life is being a dad.

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I have a 15-year-old and a 6-year-old

at the time of recording this, and

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also, uh, uh, a loyal and dedicated

husband I am a social media strategist.

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I have a specific focus around human

connection online, and sometimes those

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two concepts kind of clash when you think

about social media and human connection,

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but that's a large part of my work.

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That's what my book is about, and

giving folks the tools and frameworks

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to really build those authentic and

intentional human connections online.

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So I started my career back in

the early two thousands when

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social media was brand new.

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and now to see where we are today.

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We're, right now we have 5.3

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billion active users on social media.

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So essentially a huge percentage

of the world's population

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is active on social media.

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So where many companies, brands,

coaches, strategists, might look

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at it as just an opportunity to

get some kind of financial return.

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I look at it as an opportunity to

build intentional human connections,

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So I really am focused in on this

work because I see so much value

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in it, and a lot of it has to do

with my journey as a TEDx speaker.

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Having to kind of unpack some of my

dirty laundry, if you will, and sharing

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it publicly with the world kind of

gave me a new perspective on how we

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can leverage the power of social media.

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Russell Newton: when you call yourself

a TEDx speaker, what does that mean?

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Other than you've done a presentation,

um, you've made a speech, but

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what is actually a TEDx speaker?

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What is the organization,

um, what does it take?

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To call yourself a TEDx speaker.

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Robin Nathaniel: So TEDx is

the local chapters of ted.

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So TED is a organization that is about

sharing ideas, you know, worldwide.

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when they started, more people

wanted to organize TED events.

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So they created this division

of ted, essentially called TEDx.

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And honestly, in, in, you know,

in the world today, TEDx is

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just as influential as ted.

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They are aligned, it's a part of the, the

company, but they're operated by local

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managers license managers, if you will.

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So what does it take to let,

to, to become a TEDx speaker is

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pretty much getting selected.

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And then landing the talk.

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So I come from the a,

a musical background.

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For many years I did hip hop music and

I, I found that it wasn't necessarily

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about me getting on stage and like

performing as much as me getting on

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stages to share messages, to share ideas,

to help people, to influence people.

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And when I found public speaking,

I knew that I wanted to land.

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I.

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A TEDx talk and in the speaking

world, many would refer to TEDx as

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the Super Bowl of public speaking.

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So landing a TED TEDx talk helps

you to open doors in other areas

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and for me to impact more people.

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I went to my first ever concert,

which was a Wu-Tang Clan concert.

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I was 15 years old.

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You had to be 21 to get in the club.

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So somehow I had gotten my 15-year-old

self into this club to see Wu-Tang

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Clans first ever club tour.

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And I was Russell, I must have

been 10 feet from the stage.

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And it blew my mind.

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On the way back home, I set a couple

of rhymes in the car to my friends.

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They did the, the, the classic.

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Oh, he said, oh my gosh.

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Right?

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And it gave me the confidence.

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And from there I went all in on my career.

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Russell Newton: How do you

compare New York to Atlanta?

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That's a tough question.

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I know, but what was your, when you

moved down from New York, uh, to Atlanta,

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I'm just wondering if you had the same

mindset that I did coming from Chicago.

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Robin Nathaniel: I have two kids,

a wife, you know, we, we were

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pandemic transplants Russell.

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So we, we as we used the pandemic as

an escape hatch to get our kids outta

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New York City for a brighter future.

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So when I arrived down here, I had kind

of had that mentality of like, woo, we

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made it out of that, you know, that mess.

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And to give you a little more

context, when we were in New York

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City, we were in Forest Hills,

Queens, very close to Corona, Queens.

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This is the epicenter of the pandemic.

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So there were literally.

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Um, trailers, truck trailers, with bodies

in them, three blocks from my house.

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So we were in this space of

like, is it the end of the world?

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Like, like what do we, how

do we keep our kids safe?

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So I think when I got down

here, I just felt a, a sense

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of safety, a sense of peace.

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And even today, I joke with my friends.

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I have a friend who sent me a text

that he's coming down from New

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York to visit, and I'm like, well,

I won't be coming to visit you.

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So you, you could come down.

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I don't, I don't need a 24 hour bodega.

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I don't need, you know, I don't

need any of the lights, I don't

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need the Empire State Building.

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All I need is my backyard.

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We literally, Russell have like

rabbits and deers like walking

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through our backyard in these suburbs.

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It's like fricking Disneyland.

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Like, I'm like, I'm, I'm at

peace and I have no need to,

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to go back to, um, to New York.

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Russell Newton: expand a little bit on,

on why you contacted me, why you wanted

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to be on this podcast in particular, and,

and what that brings to our listeners.

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Robin Nathaniel: I, I mentioned

earlier, like sharing my dirty

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laundry on the TEDx stage, and

that's something that do before.

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Russell.

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I, I didn't share all of what I call

the muddle my boots because didn't

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wanna mess up anybody's carpet, right?

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I don't want to come into

your world and bring my mess.

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But what I realized in my journey

is that the more of my mess that I

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share, the more people that I impact.

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So for example my parents

were immigrants, right?

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So we grew I grew up in New York City,

clueless to my socioeconomic status.

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I was just a little kid living in.

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One of the roughest times in New

York City in the mid eighties.

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So when I share you know, my background

with folks and the things that I've

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been through, it always starts a

conversation that, or often I should

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say, starts a conversation that leads

to a season of their life that they

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can relate to my story, and that's why

I wanted to be a part of this podcast.

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Russell Newton: Do you wanna give

us a, a little more about your book?

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Robin Nathaniel: I'll quickly

break down the framework for you.

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So, so S is for simple.

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Often online people wanna show up, and

this is in the conference room too.

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Wherever people are doing business or

or operating, even in the church, right?

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It may be even in your community, people

complicate messages that sound smart.

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So it's like, you know,

whatever they need to do.

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It could be a simple dish, but they'll

break it down very complicated to

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show that they have more information.

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My challenge to that is that you simplify

your message and make it easier for

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people to receive the message, then

they're more likely to hold the message

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and hopefully put it into action.

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So s is for simple.

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Why might be my favorite one.

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Why is yield to your intentions?

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Right?

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Oftentimes on social media, folks

are what they hear from the gurus,

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they're going according to what advice

they're getting online as opposed

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to creating their own experience.

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So I would challenge folks where if people

are saying, you gotta make videos, you

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gotta make videos, but you're really

good at writing, it's okay to just

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write, you know, just, you know, go on

a platform that appreciates writing.

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For example, LinkedIn is great

for writing x Twitter, blue sky.

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These are great platforms for writing

or even create your own personal

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blog on a, a platform like substack.

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Russell Newton: Robin, part of

your material said you live by the

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motto, it talks about living by the

motto, connect, create, contribute.

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Can you break that down into a personal

application, what that means, um,

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how it can apply to our listeners?

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Robin Nathaniel: So that came to mind

for me while I was making a sandwich.

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So I'm in my kitchen making a sandwich,

and at the time I was processing

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the, the loss of my older brother,

Kevin, Nathaniel Gar rest his soul.

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He passed away in 2021 Russell,

and when he passed away.

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Russell Newton: My condolences.

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Robin Nathaniel: sir.

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It hit me like a ton of bricks, you

know, and I've, I, I lost another

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brother in the early two thousands, and

I also lost my mom in the mid nineties.

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Nothing hit like this.

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It was, when I describe it to people.

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It felt like my organs had been removed

from my body, and I was literally

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just walking around hollow at the

time I was working in a school.

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And I remember walking through the

hallways of the school and I could

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almost hear the voices of the kids

being turned down a couple of notches

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and all I could just hear and feel

was my body moving it was empty.

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So I'm, I'm at making

a sandwich during this

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And then it just hit me and I, and I

told myself, I'm not making a sandwich.

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I'm creating, I'm not having a cup

of coffee with my wife after this.

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I'm connecting.

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I'm not going to work

when I leave the house.

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contributing.

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And those three Cs, when I re revisited

this idea of doing an audit of my

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time, I changed it from being just

an a time audit to a joy audit.

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How much, how many hours of my life

are committed to these three things?

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And if they're parts of my life that

I can't somehow connect to these three

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concepts, then something gotta go.

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So if I'm not creating, if I'm

not connecting, and if I'm not

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contributing, I can't do it.

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And that's like my non-negotiable.

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Now,

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So whatever I'm doing, if I

want to, I can just have a

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conversation with a higher power.

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And that could be connection as well.

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It could also be giving gratitude

out loud to the universe or

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to, you know, whoever it is.

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So that's connecting.

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Like, you know what, I'm just so thankful

for this opportunity to be here with

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Russell having this conversation.

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I could be running that in my

head if we had a sound issue

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and you needed to get offline.

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So there are ways to

get creative around it.

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I think going back to intention, if

we're intentional about it, then we can.

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it all connect.

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But if we're just living life haplessly,

just kind of like going through the

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motions, then you know, I think we're

missing out in a huge opportunity

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in the time that we have here.

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Russell Newton: correct me if I'm

wrong, if you don't know your inner.

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Purpose, your why If I dunno my deeper

purpose, then I don't know what to create.

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I might not know how to connect or

what the point of contributing is.

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Tie those together for

us on a day-to-day basis.

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On a personal level, if you can.

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Robin Nathaniel: I'll start by saying,

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Russell Newton: I,

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Robin Nathaniel: that those concepts in

my interviews and when I go around on,

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on this podcast tour, they rarely get

brought together in the same segment.

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So I'm excited about that

because, you know, the,

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Russell Newton: okay, great.

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Robin Nathaniel: turn, I, I, I really

look at my work as like a big whiteboard

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with just a bunch of diagrams overlapping.

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It's quite mad scientist the

way I think about it, but I'm

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super passionate about it.

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So I'll start by saying that it's

hard for most folks to really

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identify what their purpose is.

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You know, I've been trying to

figure that out for years, and

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I still am a work in progress.

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I, I, I believe that.

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My North Star is making sure that my

children and my wife and the people

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that I love see me pursue something that

I'm passionate about that will serve

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people, benefit people, and that I'm

maniacally obsessed with it working.

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So I could impact people

in a positive way.

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Russell Newton: If I can infer

something from a 45 minute conversation.

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So far, I think the religion plays

a, a large part in your life.

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Were you brought up in church?

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Do you, you, I assume you're

still active in a church.

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Can you share some of that

or are we off bound here?

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Robin Nathaniel: started off in the

Catholic church when I was probably

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in the first grade because my parents

wanted to get me and my brother

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into a private school, my brother

Kevin, that I spoke about earlier.

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So we went to a, uh, a private

Catholic school for a couple of years.

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Then my mother and father split up

and fast forward, my father remarried,

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uh, my stepmom, who I affectionately

referred to as mommy, my mother, uh,

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who raised me from the time I was in

the sixth grade right up until today.

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She just turned 90 years

old a couple of days ago.

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So love her.

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Grateful for her.

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She took me to church early and

she had me singing in the choir.

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She had me going to Sunday school.

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She had me going to revival.

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If folks don't know what revival like.

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Russell Newton: No, not anymore.

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Robin Nathaniel: It's like,

it's like night Church.

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And I'll share a quick story.

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This is a a church where people will

catch the Holy Ghost and Holy Spirit.

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And we were at revival in

line one time waiting to get

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touched by this visiting pastor.

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And when the visiting pastor touched

her head, Russell, you would fall on the

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floor and essentially have a seizure.

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And I was like in line

with my dad and my cousin.

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They were behind me.

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Before I know it, I look around,

my cousin went to sit down.

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So I'm getting closer in the line.

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I'm probably about four

or five people away.

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I turn around.

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My dad went to go sit down and now I'm

like two, two, maybe one more person up.

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And I had to take the longest

walk of shame that I was afraid to

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allow this pastor to touch my head.

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So that's my early

experiences with church.

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As I grew older, I.

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I realized that many, especially

in the Christian faith, there were

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a lot of barriers in terms of an

inclusive environment at church.

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And that always kind of

made me a little icky.

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Like I, I love church.

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I, I love God.

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I, I believe in Jesus, all of the

things, but I didn't like that part

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that we would hit people with the

whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute,

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you're not us, you're going to hell.

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And I was like, I don't wanna, I

don't wanna be a part of that, right?

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So I kind of disconnected from

the Christian faith for many years

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and just focus on my spirituality.

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And then as I got older and had a

family, I wanted my kids to have

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a good experience with church.

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So I researched churches that had good

youth programs and we found the church

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that we love and, and my wife who.

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disconnected from her

faith for many years.

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Came back to her faith.

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She's actually volunteering at the church.

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My son is going on a retreat to Daytona

with a, with a like a thousand high school

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church fanatics, you know, and my daughter

also at six loves her church experience.

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Russell Newton: If you could give our

listeners, a handful of books that they,

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that it would be your top recommended

reading books are there, do you have

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three or four on the top of your head that

you would strongly recommend that most

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anybody should read and be familiar with?

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Robin Nathaniel: I would say Rick Warren's

book, A Purpose-Driven Life was huge for

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me because at the stage and season of life

that I was in, I was reaching for purpose.

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And my wife, she has this amazing quote,

it's this again, simplicity, right?

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S is for simple.

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It's the, it's super simple, but

it like, it kind of like my, my

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journey to like, identify my purpose.

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And she said.

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B she said, I'm sorry.

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She said, do what you are, what you are.

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So at the time I was like having this

huge transition in my career and trying

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to identify purpose, and she helped me

with that, that quote, do what you are.

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Rick Warren's book would be one, and

I'm, I'm kind of a marketing geek,

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so most of the stuff that I read

is like nonfiction marketing books.

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Seth Golden, this is

marketing is one of my faves.

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It's something that I refer back to

Tribes by Seth Golden is another go-to,

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and most recently I've been reading.

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Day Trading Attention by Gary Vanerchuk.

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Those are the ones that I'm reading right

now, but I think Rick Warren's book for

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PO Folks who are seeking some Purpose,

or even if you've read it before and

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you wanna revisit it with maybe some of

the frameworks that I talked about in

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mind, I think it, it could be fun too.

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Russell Newton: What would you list

as some of the fundamental habits on a

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day-to-day basis that keep you centered?

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Robin Nathaniel: So the first

thing that came to mind on this

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one, Russell, is connect, right?

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So I wanna make sure I connect with.

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People who are important in my life.

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So one practice that I put into place

is making sure that I connect with the

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people that I love every day, whether

they live close or they live far away.

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Sometimes it's my son.

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Sometimes I'll just call my son who

might be at home playing video games.

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I'm like, Hey, just checking in on you.

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You know, want to see did you eat,

you know, but specifically, if you

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have elderly family members, grandma,

great grandma, elderly parents, check

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in on them daily because you have

no idea how far that goes for them.

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It's, it's a big deal for them

that you're calling consistently

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and also it will feed your soul.

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So that's the first thing.

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another thing I try to do daily is

like at least walk at the minimum.

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Make sure I have one of those smart

watches that I'm documenting my steps.

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Try to get to 10,000 steps a

day and make sure that I move.

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And then the last thing me that

I really try to be intentional

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about is making sure that I am.

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Mindful on how I'm using my time online.

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So this trick that I have is when I

open up my phone and I go to like,

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get into the internet or go into

social media, go in with intention

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saying I want to have one takeaway.

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And after I get that takeaway,

I'm shutting this puppy down.

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: 00:19:34

Russell Newton: I'm sure I missed a

question that you would like to have

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been asked or possibly a, a point of

information that I, that we didn't get to.

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: 00:19:43

So, however you wanna close out the

podcast episode for us, feel free

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: 00:19:47

to to venture as far as you'd like.

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: 00:19:50

Robin Nathaniel: Yeah.

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: 00:19:50

So I said, um, earlier that in the

sync method Y was probably my favorite.

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And the reason is, is because I find it to

be most practical of all of the pillars.

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So for example, if you go to Walmart

or Target, wherever you shop, if you

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shop at one of those stores and you go

through the checkout line, you, you're

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not going through the automatic one.

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: 00:20:14

You're going, you want to like let

a human take care of you, right?

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And.

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If you think about it, you have the

opportunity to be intentional to leave

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some kind of an impact on the cashier.

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It could be knowing she, she might seem

frustrated with the, the guest before you,

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or you could just see a blank stare where

she hasn't given anybody eye contact in

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the two people that were in front of you.

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You can intentionally say

something to leave her with some

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kind of positive impact or value.

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It could be as something as

simple as, Hey, thank you so much.

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I appreciate it.

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You have a blessed day.

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People don't get that, and I, and

I think that what I would leave

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your audience with, no matter who

the person is, no matter where,

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what arena of life you're in, your

professional arena, your personal arena.

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Look at every interaction as an

opportunity to leave the person that

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you connect with better off than

they were before your conversation.

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And that, I think, will help you,

you know, get the most out of life.