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Published on:

15th Sep 2025

Transforming Adversity into Achievement: Ken Miller's Chronicle

Overcoming Adversity and Achieving Success: A Journey of Resilience with Ken Miller

In this episode of Social Skills Coaching, we welcome Ken Miller, a three-time convicted felon turned successful entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker. Ken shares his remarkable journey from growing up in foster care, struggling with addiction, and spending years in prison to becoming a successful businessman, mentor, and speaker. Discover his insights on mentoring, the power of overcoming shame, and the importance of integrity and resilience. He also discusses his experiences in Ecuador, the essence of trust, and how maintaining order and focus in daily life contributes to success. This episode is filled with inspiration, valuable lessons, and actionable advice for achieving personal and professional growth.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Background

00:46 Guest Introduction: Ken Miller

01:22 Ken Miller's Early Life and Education

02:47 Struggles and Redemption

04:14 Life in Ecuador

07:15 Ken Miller's Book and Its Impact

10:02 The Power of Negative Secrets

15:03 Mentorship and Its Importance

30:15 Setting Expectations and Building Trust

30:51 Challenges in the Black Community

31:55 Defining Trust and Integrity

37:47 The Lecture Circuit Experience

40:48 Balancing Professional and Personal Life

43:26 The Importance of Respect

46:01 Daily Routine and Personal Growth

53:23 Final Thoughts and Words of Wisdom

Transcript
Ken Miller:

I am a three time convicted felon.

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I've spent years behind bars for the

crimes that I committed as a drug

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addict with an Ivy League education.

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We have a real dearth of mentorship within

the black community, black male community.

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We have a problem with

black men not being there.

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I was in prison with them.

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I know we weren't there.

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I can do life.

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I'm not afraid of life.

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And most importantly,

I'm not afraid of me.

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I'm not in a biblical or an

adversarial relationship with self.

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I'm not.

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Russell Newton: Hello listeners, and

welcome back to Social Skills Coaching,

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where you become more confident, more

charismatic, and more productive.

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We're excited again to

introduce a guest with us today.

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We have Ken Miller, author, speaker,

entrepreneur, businessman, a long

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list of, characteristics and,

adjectives that we could put in there.

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But Ken, as is the case, usually

I'm gonna ask you just to introduce

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yourself, present to us what we

would like to know, what you would

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like us to know about you, and we'll

take the conversation from there.

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Ken Miller: Sure.

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I appreciate that.

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Thank you for the opportunity

to be on your podcast.

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Let's start off with this.

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I'm 62 years old.

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I'm a black male.

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I live in Bellingham, Washington.

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I have a somewhat unique story as an

entrepreneur and as a business owner,

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but it's nothing that is so unique that

probably will not resonate with many

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of the people that are on this call.

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So lemme give you a quick overview of who

I am and maybe what makes my story unique.

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Again, I'm 62 years old,

born in:

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My mother was a white teenage runaway.

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My dad was a black.

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Male, of course.

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pimp and drug dealer in New York City.

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I was put up for adoption

at birth age, at birth.

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And for the next six years

I went through foster homes.

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So I'm what they would

call a foster child.

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I was adopted at age six

by Irene and Sam Miller.

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I moved from New York to Alaska.

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That's where I grew up.

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A lot of people know me as kin

from Alaska, and I was precocious.

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What I mean by that, I

was academically inclined.

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And by the time I was 17, I

was a National Merit scholar.

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I was accepted

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Russell Newton: Wow.

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Ken Miller: I went to Dartmouth College.

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While in Dartmouth, I, unfortunately,

I had a major, I majored in drinking,

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is what I did in fraternity and

probably, minored in drinking

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and majored in fraternity.

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And I got out with my degree.

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And went into the corporate world in 1984.

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Within two years, you could pretty

much say I was homeless on the streets,

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as a drug addict and alcoholic, I was

to spend the next 20 years, 20, 21

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years homeless and on the streets.

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I am a three time convicted felon.

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I've spent years behind bars for the

crimes that I committed as a drug

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addict with an Ivy League education.

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I got out in 2007 for my last,

stint in the penitentiary.

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Did three years on my last bit

had no skills, none whatsoever.

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But within two to three years, I was

working in the field of development,

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which is fundraising for nonprofits.

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And in 2014 started my first company.

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And today I'm a very successful

businessman, entrepreneur.

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I speak all over the country.

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I write books.

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I'm a landowner.

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I have property in South America,

I am also a husband, a grandfather,

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and a mentor to predominantly men

of color throughout this country.

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That's just a real quick overview.

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There was a lot that happened in between.

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Russell Newton: What do

they say on your, not yours?

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your, in the general sense on your

tombstone, you have a, for you

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and I, it would be 1962, born in

the same year, and then hopefully

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21 something for both of us.

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Maybe it'll be a little while before that

last number is filled in, but that dash

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represents a lot of stuff going on in

between the first year and the last year.

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you mentioned on a personal side here,

you mentioned before we started recording

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that you just flew in from Ecuador, and

then you said you're a landowner in South

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America, so that's interesting to me.

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How does that come about?

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What does that entail?

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Is that just personal or is

that a business, venture.

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Ken Miller: Business, it's, you can save

it's business 'cause we rent it out.

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So I originally, about four years ago,

went down there, bought a condo, and

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then, about three years ago, my wife

and I bought some raw land on the

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beach and we built a six bedroom home.

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with swimming pool on the

beach there in Ecuador.

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So we just went back there

and stayed in our place.

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But we have a, b and B down there.

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There's a company called Rent and

Manta, so we work with them and,

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they take care of it, but, we

rent it out and it's beautiful.

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it's gorgeous.

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The, the property itself.

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And then we also have the condo

down there and we rent that out.

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Russell Newton: Wow.

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Ken Miller: America, it's Ecuador.

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Russell Newton: what is,

here's a naive question.

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Maybe.

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I've been to Mexico

briefly a long time ago.

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What is Ecuador like?

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I think we have concepts

of other countries.

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as a mayor, I speak.

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Maybe broadly as an American we don't

know much sometimes, America's so large.

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we go from state to state and

that's, that can be culture change.

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Is Ecuador similar?

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Is it vastly different maybe from

the states or from other South

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American countries that we might

think we know something about?

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Or is life there basically

the same as it is here?

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Ken Miller: Life is basically

the same everywhere in the world.

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Russell Newton: Thank you.

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Ken Miller: their families.

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People are trying to, get ahead

those that choose to do that.

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the truth is that the human condition

entails, assuming roles and or, behavior

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that hopefully will be, positive for

whatever your dream or aspiration is.

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we call it a third world.

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It's on the equator.

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they use American money, which is unusual,

but I think it's one of four countries

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in the world that use American money.

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obviously it's Spanish

speaking, beautiful people.

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It's a beautiful country.

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But it has its problems like every

country know of, and it's going

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through some growing pains as we

speak, but there's great opportunity.

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I tell people Ecuador is Costa Rica

40 years ago when it comes to, buying

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property and or building there.

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They have a large expat community,

Canadians, Germans, Americans, and

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again, most of the time, right?

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many of us are on the coast, but

there's also, there's quite a few

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people in keto and those are two

of the other main large cities.

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We're right south of Manta and

a small town called Santa Marta.

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So it's a beautiful country.

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we were just there for eight

days, wasn't long enough.

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Russell Newton: Nice.

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Ken Miller: very economical

the food's great.

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Russell Newton: Very interesting.

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Thanks for sharing that.

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That's just really out

of, personal curiosity.

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one of the things you

mentioned was your book.

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Let's, let's go into that a little bit.

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Tell us about your book, who it's written

for, what it covers, what we can learn

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from it and so forth, if you would.

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Ken Miller: Who is written for?

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The number one person it

was written for was me,

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me.

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Russell Newton: okay.

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Yeah.

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No, I understand that.

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Ken Miller: do you say that?

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The reason I

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Russell Newton: I.

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Ken Miller: is I had made a commitment to

myself five or six years ago to write a

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book, and it took me three years to write

this book for different reasons, but it

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took three years to get it published.

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I'm gonna publish hopefully three more

books this year, and it'll take me, four

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or five months to publish those books.

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I had made commitments to people.

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I have a big thing about integrity.

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And I had said verbally that I would

write a book because people kept

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saying, you need to write a book.

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You need to write a book,

you need to write a book.

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And I was like, ah, okay.

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I'm gonna write a book.

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And so that was probably the number one.

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The number two is it's a message to

individuals I hate to bifurcate or

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make things, male or female, but it's

in a lot of ways it's really to men.

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Because I had a lot of situations

as a man that, I needed to deal with

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and I talk about those in the books.

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There was some shame-based behavior.

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There was some things I had to overcome.

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There was, concepts of resilience,

concepts of respect, concepts of dealing

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with shame and anger and depression,

drug addiction, things that I needed

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to overcome and things that I needed to

be able to do to put into my business.

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successful as a businessman,

which I am today.

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So it's, it's a book

that I'm so glad I wrote.

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and I think it has resonated.

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I've talked to, more than a few people

who have read it and have enjoyed the

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book, I just look forward and I just

think it's a, I think it's a value

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added to the community at large.

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And I'm not saying it's a game changer,

but it's a value added because one thing,

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and you will, you'll see this Russell,

I am very honest, I am very transparent.

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I have no secrets.

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I have no secrets.

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There's things I will not share

about my family, but about me.

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I'll share about anything that's

happened to me because I had to take

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away the power of the negative secret.

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And that's a big part of

the book is taking away the

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power of the negative secret.

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Russell Newton: That's

an interesting phrase.

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I'm gonna, I'm jotting that down

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Ken Miller: sure.

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Russell Newton: but would you go into,

I think I know, I certainly know,

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personally what that means, in my own

instance, but define, tell us about that.

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how does that affect your daily life?

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What is, how do you incorporate that?

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what lessons have you

learned through that pro?

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That's just a great phrase.

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Power of a negative secret.

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Ken Miller: so let's talk about the

negative secret, because I don't probably

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incorporate it every day in my life

because I don't have to talk about things

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that at one time were a negative secret.

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So a negative secret is

something that you hide.

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From others or from the external world.

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Sometimes you hide it from

the internal in your head.

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You don't go in, I, this

is the description I give.

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consists, or memory

consists of a long hallway.

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And on this long hallway there are doors.

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And those doors said eight years old.

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13 years old.

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My uncle, whatever it may be.

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And it's labeled on that door.

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don't want to go into that door.

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don't want to bring up those memories.

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You don't want to go in there and turn

the lights on and see what's in that room.

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Okay.

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so that's an internal, so we,

sometimes we use the word repression,

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but we sublimate that memory

coming up into the consciousness.

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Okay, cool.

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Then there's the negative secret that's

deals with the external world and what

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they're usually the self-talk around,

and I'm really big on self-talk, is that

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if they knew this truth or this fact or

this experience, or my interpretation of

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this experience, they would not like me.

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They would not engage with me.

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They would treat me in a specific

or certain way, and therefore

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I cannot allow this external

world to know about this truth.

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'cause that's what it is.

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It's a secret, but it's a truth.

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At least that's what you

interpreted as a truth.

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This happened to me, or I did this.

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And if you knew this, you would

not, in with me or integrate

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with me or connect with me.

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Therefore, it would cause

repercussions either emotionally

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and sometimes physically to me.

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Russell Newton: So the a negative

secret, it could be truth.

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it, you mentioned my, an internal,

interpretation of something.

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but how does that, why is it

important, to address that?

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Does it affect relationships?

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Does it affect, just my

personal, self-concept?

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or is it all all encompassing?

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Ken Miller: it affect, number one.

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It affects your self-esteem because

you're always running around in fear.

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Fear of them

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Russell Newton: Okay.

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Ken Miller: out, fear of it slipping out,

fear of another external party telling.

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This group that Ken did this, I did that.

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Okay.

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It is fear of bringing it up into my

consciousness, and therefore I need

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to deal with that negative feeling.

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So what I talk a lot about

is shame based versus

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Russell Newton: interesting you,

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Ken Miller: behavior.

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Russell Newton: yeah.

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I wrote, that's one of the phrases I

wanted to come back to because you, you

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mentioned it, but at that caught my ear.

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Tell us, yeah, please continue.

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Sorry for the interruption.

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Ken Miller: the real quick and

dirty version is guilt said I did.

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says I am okay.

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One says that I did something

less than the other.

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One says, I am less than.

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Okay.

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And when you become shame based is

much more powerful than guilt based.

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I am guilty.

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I pled guilty every time I

went in front of the court.

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Every time I had three felonies.

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I pled guilty.

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I was guilty.

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I knew I did it.

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I'm not gonna fight it.

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get me to prison.

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Let's move on.

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Okay.

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Shame says, I am less than because

I engaged or did this behavior.

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we have the Scarlet letter, Nathaniel

Hawthorne, that had to do with

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adultery, which was shame based.

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by that society.

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had shame-based behavior because,

to be frank with you, I was a

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male sex worker on the streets.

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That's how I paid for my crack on

many occasions, and I didn't want

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anybody to find that out because it

would've affected me on the streets.

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It would've affected me in prison.

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And then I thought

people would not like me.

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I'm talking about the external, we

call it the civilian world would not

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like me or engage with me if they

knew I had engaged in this behavior.

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at all.

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And when I started speaking about it

originally, I spoke to one person,

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then I did small group, and then I'd

speak on the stages about shame-based

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behavior and the things that I

did that made me feel less than,

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Russell Newton: Guilt and remorse

are things that we feel based

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on our behaviors, our actions,

even our thought processes.

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But guilt and remorse are not shame.

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It's two diff, two different things, and.

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yeah.

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What I did is not what I am, that's a

concept that comes across in the podcast.

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Frequently.

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is age an issue?

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either positive or negative

when developing a mentoring

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or a, even a friendship.

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And is there a benefit for younger people?

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So let's say college, early career

age people, to seek advice from the

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boomers and those older than them.

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Ken Miller: 100%.

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There's, there is, benefit,

tremendous benefit.

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I am the biggest advocate of mentoring.

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That you'll probably ever have.

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I've been mentoring for

over 15 years, and explicit.

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I teach classes on mentoring.

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I'm writing a book on

mentoring communities of color.

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That's my third book that's

coming out this year.

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Fourth book, excuse me.

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So I know a lot about it.

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I've been doing it.

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I understand it.

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And is important most of the time for

the mentor be older than the mentee.

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Most of the time doesn't, it is very

few where it just has to be one way or

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Russell Newton: Of course,

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Ken Miller: or But let's, I

don't deal with exceptions.

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I don't.

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That's noise.

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To me.

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What is the signal?

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And the signal is as an individual,

and this is the key part,

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it's not age, it's maturity.

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But usually that comes with

age or can come with age.

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Sure.

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We understand this.

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Russell Newton: Yes.

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Ken Miller: about maturity and

we're talking about discernment.

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The ability to discern comes

literally after maturity, that's

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even a higher level is discernment.

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Okay.

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what is maturity?

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I always talk, and I work with a

lot of men and I, when I speak with

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them, I talk about antithesis and

what we mean very what are opposites.

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It's so much easier to define immaturity

than there is to define maturity.

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And I, when my men have difficulty

with this term, I say, how does a

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4-year-old think and way a 4-year-old

thinks is, it's always about me.

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'cause that's my world and

my horizon is very short.

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A 4-year-old is not thinking

about what he's gonna do.

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when he's 12, he's not thinking

about, what type of job

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he's gonna get when he's 30.

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He's

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Russell Newton: There's no

five year plan there, right?

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Ken Miller: five year plan.

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Yeah.

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The, their time horizon.

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And as you get mature, two things

happen and there's more, but

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let's just talk about the two.

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One is, you begin to make decisions

based on how they impact others.

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And then number two, you

extend your time horizon.

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I will make decisions.

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I will delay gratification.

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I will accept discomfort

short-term for the goal.

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Which is to provide dot or be at a certain

level at this age or whatever it may be.

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The, the aspiration may be,

or the goal or the dream.

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I talk a lot about dreams.

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So anyway, that is one of the

reasons why usually the mentor, but

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I hate to tell you Russell, most

people don't know how to mentor.

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I'll just be frank on that because I'm

gonna be frank, that's just who I am and

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people can agree, disagree, whatever,

but be frank, where most people don't

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know how to mentor, they don't understand

what mentoring is, and they also get

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it mixed up with coaching all the time.

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Russell Newton: can you keep going?

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That my, my follow up question

would be along those lines, tell us,

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coaching, mentoring, if, how would an

individual listening today find a min?

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How would they know that

they're getting what they need?

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if it's someone of, of a higher

level of maturity, how should

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they, A lot of questions there.

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How would someone go about being a mentor

and knowing that they're, doing it?

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that's probably two or

three episodes in itself.

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But again, delve into that

a little bit more for us,

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Ken Miller: So let's start with this.

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let me give you an example

of how do I mentor.

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I've been mentoring for

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Russell Newton: please.

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Ken Miller: I've

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Russell Newton: Great.

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Ken Miller: over 60 men, 95 or seven

black men of color, and of choice.

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I don't mentor women, that's number one.

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and that's difficult for women.

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I want women who are on this.

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It's difficult many times to find

a mentor within the same sex.

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If you are aspiring to a

position and or stature within

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a community, a work community.

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Because a lot of times there aren't

the women haven't reached that

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level that, I wanna be the CEO or

I wanna be the CDO, whatever it may

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be, CFO of a larger corporation.

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I'm looking for a mentor

to help me on that journey.

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Okay.

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Having said that, number one thing as

a mentor is I have a responsibility.

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First of all, mentoring 100% is free.

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Period.

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No.

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:

If, ands, or buts about that coaching

is a paid, or you could quote unquote

395

:

coach someone for free, but coaching

usually has remuneration involved with it.

396

:

Just pay involved.

397

:

Okay.

398

:

I coach and I've mentored.

399

:

the number one thing I do as a

mentor is this, I engender dreams.

400

:

Lemme say that again.

401

:

I engender dreams.

402

:

The first thing that I say to the

individual is that number one.

403

:

Because they almost always come to me

or a family member say, Hey, will you

404

:

mentor my nephew, whatever it may be.

405

:

sit down with them, I

say, Hey, check this out.

406

:

I am the mentor.

407

:

You are the mentee.

408

:

Let's understand that.

409

:

Are you comfortable with that?

410

:

I take lead in this.

411

:

I'm the mentor.

412

:

I've been there, I've done that.

413

:

And if I don't, I probably know who has.

414

:

I can get that information.

415

:

Okay.

416

:

I say that number one.

417

:

two, I look them dead in the

eyes or I look them in the eyes

418

:

and I say, very simply, my goal

is to engender your dreams.

419

:

What are your dreams?

420

:

And I shut up.

421

:

And I shut up.

422

:

That's real important.

423

:

And I've had guys sit there for

five minutes because someone has

424

:

taken away their ability to dream.

425

:

They said, you can't

dream, you can't do that.

426

:

You can't have that.

427

:

You'll never be that.

428

:

Could be family, could be principal,

could be a teacher, could be,

429

:

most of the time, many times it's

their, colleagues and or friends.

430

:

Sometimes it's your mate, or your partner.

431

:

But it is taken away

your ability to dream.

432

:

So I, I put that on the table and

I've always been able to, and then

433

:

I say to them, there's three things

that I will predominantly do.

434

:

Number one, going to provide

information and I start every man

435

:

that I work with, and people can do

this differently, but I start every

436

:

man, I work with two books, period.

437

:

They have to read these two books

and many of 'em are not readers,

438

:

but we work through it side.

439

:

And the two books are the Six Pillars

of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Brandon,

440

:

and the Speed of trust by Stephen.

441

:

Every, and then I will put in front

of them other books or podcasts or

442

:

talks, other information as I get to

know them better and get more drilled

443

:

in, in their aspiration and dream.

444

:

That's number one.

445

:

Number two, so I'm gonna put information,

external information into you.

446

:

Number two, I'm going to

introduce you to people.

447

:

Okay?

448

:

'cause I know a lot of people.

449

:

A of people, so I'm gonna

introduce you to people.

450

:

Number three, I'm going to

support you on your journey.

451

:

And many times means you

need to go to a conference.

452

:

is it?

453

:

What do you want?

454

:

I'll take care of either the airfare.

455

:

This is what I do, right?

456

:

Every mentor does this.

457

:

I've spent thousands a year guys

doing things that will, enhance

458

:

their ability to be successful.

459

:

And number four, which is

probably the most important.

460

:

I support men emotionally.

461

:

Every man, every guy I mentor,

I've told him, I love you.

462

:

you, bro.

463

:

I love you, man.

464

:

And I look him dead eye.

465

:

There's two black men, sometimes we've

come from some tough backgrounds and so

466

:

a lot of times when I tell 'em this in

the first meeting or first one or two

467

:

meeting, I say, Hey, it may take time

for the trust to build some people quick.

468

:

And they default to trust.

469

:

That's a term I use.

470

:

That's what I do.

471

:

And some don't.

472

:

And that's fine.

473

:

And Matter have taken years to get

to a point where they're comfortable

474

:

with it saying, Hey, I love you.

475

:

you know that, right?

476

:

Yeah.

477

:

And then, and they tell me back.

478

:

but I support it emotionally

because we deal with what I

479

:

call the vicissitudes of life.

480

:

That's common now, that's common.

481

:

will have ups and downs.

482

:

People will pass away, relationships will

be broken, financial problems will happen.

483

:

Family issues will happen,

health issues will happen.

484

:

Let's talk about it.

485

:

talk about it.

486

:

a lot of times they come in, they say,

oh, can you help me with my business?

487

:

help me with my career.

488

:

That's what they come in.

489

:

And been mentoring.

490

:

In fact, I meet with one of my

oldest mentee today, 15 years.

491

:

It's open-ended too.

492

:

I tell 'em that it's open-ended.

493

:

We meet quarterly, but you could

always contact me in between.

494

:

I got one who's going to be

contacting me back in the office

495

:

now, today I was on vacation.

496

:

I said, Hey, can't, deal with

it right now, but gimme a ring

497

:

when I get back on Tuesday and

let's talk, let's deal with this.

498

:

So that's mentoring.

499

:

There's more, that I've done.

500

:

But this is the beautiful thing,

and I share this with you.

501

:

say, why do you do this?

502

:

Yeah, I'll just put it, I'm a millionaire.

503

:

Okay?

504

:

I'm a millionaire.

505

:

I built my companies.

506

:

I've built myself.

507

:

I'm a millionaire.

508

:

My time is valuable.

509

:

And even this, I don't obviously

get paid to be on this podcast, but

510

:

it gives me an opportunity to share

that hopefully will affect people.

511

:

I'm so grateful of my journey, but the

key thing is, what I wanna come back

512

:

to is that I give of my time because

I sometimes believe that's, we call my

513

:

calling and I'm not going into, Judi

Christian, talk here 'cause I'm not.

514

:

But what I'm talking about is I

have a spiritual presence in my life

515

:

that allows me to give back, and

I don't want anything in return.

516

:

What I want is this, I've sat down with

two men that I've worked with for years

517

:

and to watch a grown black man cry.

518

:

A dream came true, took five years,

took seven years, but something

519

:

they didn't know they had inside of.

520

:

And I always say, and

they're like, thank you.

521

:

I couldn't have done it without, it's not

whether you could have done it without me.

522

:

We did it together, but you

did it, this is about you.

523

:

And that dream coming

true, this is about you.

524

:

And I just honor it and I

just, wish you continue.

525

:

what's our new dream?

526

:

Russell Newton: Do you approach it in

the beginning as, I'm your friend, I'm

527

:

gonna help you through this, or is it

more of a, instructional thing and I'm

528

:

assuming by the end of the time, after

you spent sessions with people, you become

529

:

much more, you become more close, you

become more friendlier, more friendly.

530

:

But in the beginning, what's it like?

531

:

is it more of a professional

relationship or is it more of a personal.

532

:

Ken Miller: Personal

533

:

Russell Newton: Is it really?

534

:

Okay.

535

:

Okay.

536

:

Ken Miller: job.

537

:

And I'll say that because I, one

of the things I always say to 'em.

538

:

First of all, I want to thank you

and honor your ability to reach

539

:

out and just, 'cause a lot of times

I'll have the first meeting to

540

:

see, do you want to be mentored?

541

:

What are you looking for?

542

:

Are you looking for coaching on a

specific, how to write a donor letter,

543

:

'cause my background's fundraising.

544

:

I'm an expert in fundraising.

545

:

Okay.

546

:

If that's what you're looking at,

I can tell you that in, half hour,

547

:

you can come to one of my webinars

or I'll give you, allowance to be

548

:

in one of my webinars for free.

549

:

Why one of my workshops I don't give.

550

:

That's fine.

551

:

But, or do you want to grow as a man?

552

:

'cause that's what it

really comes down to.

553

:

you wanna grow as a man?

554

:

Do you wanna be mentored?

555

:

gotta understand something here.

556

:

Ruan.

557

:

I just wanna make sure I have mentors.

558

:

have three.

559

:

I have three.

560

:

I had four.

561

:

One passed away.

562

:

I have mentors.

563

:

I have four generations

of black men mentoring.

564

:

That was my whole, that's really one

of the reasons why I wrote the book.

565

:

One of the reasons why I spoke is I

want more men work with other men.

566

:

We have a real dearth of mentorship within

the black community, black male community.

567

:

We have a problem with

black men not being there.

568

:

I was in prison with them.

569

:

I know we weren't there.

570

:

had, a stepson.

571

:

I wasn't a father too, because I'm a drug

addict and I'm in penitentiary, so I know

572

:

what it's like to not have that father

figure or a good black male role model.

573

:

use the term black.

574

:

It could be communities of

color, it can be just men.

575

:

We're all children of God.

576

:

I truly believe that we're all a

part of the community of the world.

577

:

But I have a specific community

'cause I know the need is

578

:

so great in that community.

579

:

And so my goal is to speak in front of

thousands, to hopefully inspire them to

580

:

bring in the spirit they will be motivated

to work with others or especially

581

:

to learn how to work with others.

582

:

That's one of the reasons why I'm writing

the book, again, there needs to be a

583

:

guidebook and maybe another one out there.

584

:

I haven't done that kind of research and

won't I just know what has worked for me.

585

:

How do you know it's worked?

586

:

because I've seen the growth and

I see the responses from those who

587

:

have engaged in the relationship

with me to grow and to mature.

588

:

Okay.

589

:

And believe me, I course

correct too, Russell.

590

:

Course correct, which means there

are times I've sat with men and I

591

:

said, I'm not co-signing on that.

592

:

I'm not co-signing on that behavior.

593

:

is not the right thing to do.

594

:

And I'll explain why.

595

:

And we'll go through, if you're having an

extramarital affair, let's talk about it.

596

:

Let's talk about the why.

597

:

Let's talk about, and nothing is off the,

I have no secrets, so nothing is off.

598

:

And they know my story.

599

:

Oh, my guys normal.

600

:

Russell Newton: And you

expect that back from them?

601

:

the no secrets, the

transparency, the honesty?

602

:

No.

603

:

Ken Miller: no, not in the beginning.

604

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

605

:

Ken Miller: And, but I tell 'em

that, I just tell 'em two things.

606

:

All I ask is two things.

607

:

to show up.

608

:

And that's a tough one.

609

:

Many times, okay?

610

:

To show up and show up on time.

611

:

two, to be as honest as you can.

612

:

That's all I ask for.

613

:

Okay.

614

:

And.

615

:

times we don't really have the habit

of being as forthcoming as possible.

616

:

Or, and I'm, I'll be frank, in

the communities of color, we

617

:

have a problem with being late.

618

:

I'm gonna put that out there.

619

:

I have a men's I black men's

book study national that I run.

620

:

Okay.

621

:

Started it.

622

:

It's called the Six Pillars,

black men's book study.

623

:

And, we have individuals who are part

of the book study doesn't cost anything.

624

:

And I can't tell you how many times

individuals have told me they'll

625

:

be there, they no show or they come

in late, happens all the time, and

626

:

I don't have the answer for it.

627

:

some of it's, community and I,

there, there's some theories I

628

:

have because that's not who I am.

629

:

But I teach this.

630

:

punctuality, I teach about,

and one of the most important

631

:

things I teach is integrity.

632

:

Is there an alignment or what

we call congruence between

633

:

what you say and what you do?

634

:

Russell Newton: Wow, that's strong.

635

:

Ken Miller: Yeah, it is strong.

636

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

637

:

Ken Miller: It is strong.

638

:

'cause if you got it, because it

comes back to that, the book, speed

639

:

of trust, what is Trust Russell?

640

:

this is how I work with my guys

and I know I'm not here, I'm not

641

:

mentoring you, but what is trust?

642

:

I do a lot with definitions.

643

:

What is trust?

644

:

Russell Newton: Are you asking?

645

:

You're not asking rhetorically, are you?

646

:

Ken Miller: just real quick.

647

:

What's, what is trust?

648

:

Russell Newton: I dunno if I can define

it and I could maybe an example if

649

:

I trusted you, I would believe that

you're working, for, if we're working

650

:

together, you're working with my best

interest in mind, like almost like

651

:

a fiduciary, arrangement where I can

believe what you're telling me because

652

:

it is not couched behind some secret

or some ulterior motive that I'm not

653

:

aware of or might not be to my benefit.

654

:

Ken Miller: Okay, let's take away motives.

655

:

Let's talk, take away ulterior

benefits, things of that nature.

656

:

Let's keep it real simple.

657

:

Trust is a belief and a

perceived future action.

658

:

Lemme say that again.

659

:

Trust

660

:

Russell Newton: it.

661

:

Ken Miller: a belief and

a perceived future action.

662

:

If I come to you, say, Hey, I'm

gonna go to the store and grab you

663

:

a soda, I believe that your future

action is that you are going to

664

:

go to the store and buy me a soda.

665

:

I trust you.

666

:

When we do our marriage vows, one

of the part of the marriage vows is

667

:

that I will not engage in physical

or sexual in endeavors with another

668

:

person outside the marriage.

669

:

Trust.

670

:

So I believe anything with my wife,

there is a belief and a perceived future

671

:

action that the only person that I will

engage with in physical is my wife.

672

:

Okay, cool.

673

:

That's trust.

674

:

And so can, if you verbalize something

and then on the back end, don't do it.

675

:

That lays my trust because I had

a perceived future action that

676

:

you were gonna show up for the

podcast on time you had one.

677

:

Okay?

678

:

And when that doesn't happen, it gives

me credence that is not integrity and

679

:

or now there's reasons things happen.

680

:

I'm so amenable to that,

understandable that and a lot of times.

681

:

I just ask people, to let me know.

682

:

If you can't me, just let me know.

683

:

I got a, if you saw my calendar, I have

a VA that handles my calendar, but if

684

:

you saw my calendar, you'd understand,

that again, my time is valuable, I trust

685

:

that you are, and I default to trust.

686

:

That's another term.

687

:

It's called default to trust.

688

:

I do, by nature, I've chosen not

even by nature, by experience and

689

:

by belief in that, good the end

will happen as a default to trust.

690

:

Russell Newton: there's almost too

much for me to get my, I wanna jot down

691

:

default to trust is, and what would, you

said earlier, speed to trust was that

692

:

Ken Miller: Yeah, the speed of trust.

693

:

Russell Newton: of trust.

694

:

Can you expand?

695

:

Can you, what do you mean by that?

696

:

Ken Miller: first of

all, you had undefined.

697

:

Again, we've defined somewhat

what is trust, a belief, and

698

:

a perceived future action.

699

:

Okay?

700

:

How quickly you engender trust with

701

:

Russell Newton: Oh, okay.

702

:

Ken Miller: Because when, the CEO or

the boss trusts you, have a perception

703

:

that you will do these actions, that are

going to be positive for the company.

704

:

Therefore, they will give

you more responsibility.

705

:

Therefore, you, they will give you,

this is just in the corporate world,

706

:

how quickly can you build trust with

your partner or, whatever your partner,

707

:

how quickly can you build that?

708

:

And then what can you do when and

if you do something that takes away

709

:

their belief in or their trust in you?

710

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

711

:

Ken Miller: And,

712

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

713

:

Ken Miller: make amends.

714

:

We can, make apologies,

which are different.

715

:

can,

716

:

Russell Newton: Right.

717

:

Ken Miller: engage.

718

:

But specifically I tell

people those are verbal Okay.

719

:

Especially the apologies.

720

:

So you need to do a series of, actions

are, that show that you can trust

721

:

me and how we, how do we do that?

722

:

Russell Newton: Which is

directly tied into integrity.

723

:

Without integrity, can there be trust

724

:

Ken Miller: Without integrity.

725

:

Can there be trust?

726

:

it'd be difficult.

727

:

And

728

:

Russell Newton: May

729

:

Ken Miller: is the difficulty

is that people have what

730

:

they call situational ethics.

731

:

Russell Newton: right.

732

:

Ken Miller: So with certain people

there's a tremendous amount of trust

733

:

with other people, other situations.

734

:

Which means it is because

we have situational ethics.

735

:

I'm very ethical with my mother,

let's say, but with, partner,

736

:

that played basketball with,

or may not show up on time.

737

:

Okay.

738

:

But if my mom calls me,

I'll be there in five

739

:

Russell Newton: You can.

740

:

Ken Miller: Okay.

741

:

Situational ethic.

742

:

And what we want to do is at some point

when we have this true integrity, is

743

:

that there's no situational ethics.

744

:

There is just ethics and there is a

sense that, I adhere to what I say or

745

:

what I tell people that I'm going to do.

746

:

what, by whatever external means,

whether it's written or verbal.

747

:

Russell Newton: Thank you.

748

:

Yeah.

749

:

You've given us, I think, a little

insight into what your, what you cover

750

:

in some of your speeches and your talks.

751

:

I'm interested in maybe lightening

things up a little bit as well.

752

:

Tell us about the lecture circuit.

753

:

What's it like?

754

:

how do people book you, how can people

find where you're gonna be speaking?

755

:

just is it like, it's not the

rockstar life, I don't assume,

756

:

but it's, it has to be gratifying.

757

:

just what is that as a

lecture circuit speaker?

758

:

Ken Miller: So first of all, to

understand it's a world in itself.

759

:

love to use the term community, so

I belong to different communities.

760

:

Okay.

761

:

And within those communities,

I have a certain stature, okay?

762

:

That goes back to respect, which

we may or may not talk about, the

763

:

speaking community is very large.

764

:

There are individuals at the top of

the pyramid, and there's individuals

765

:

that are, at the base of the pyramid.

766

:

And so let's say this, there's

approximately 8,000 conferences,

767

:

associations, and groups that

you could speak at and to speak,

768

:

ah, man, this's a lot too.

769

:

I could talk about this for next day.

770

:

We'll just say this, they're

what you think, which are what

771

:

we call keynotes or plenaries.

772

:

are the individuals that come on

stage and speak to the whole group

773

:

usually, or the great majority.

774

:

And then there were, are

called breakout sessions.

775

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

776

:

Ken Miller: I do a lot of breakouts, I do

777

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

778

:

Ken Miller: keynotes.

779

:

But your large speakers, the big

ones, the most well known, your Les

780

:

Browns and your Zig Ziglars and Tommy

Hopkins, whoever they do, the keynotes.

781

:

Michelle Obama, Hillary Rodman, Clinton,

they're all, do you know the keynotes and

782

:

they can get paid, half a per keynote.

783

:

I'm nowhere near that,

784

:

Russell Newton: Not yet.

785

:

Ken Miller: right?

786

:

Not yet.

787

:

And they probably don't want to be.

788

:

I

789

:

Russell Newton: Interesting.

790

:

Ken Miller: that.

791

:

No, aspire for that.

792

:

Russell Newton: I.

793

:

Ken Miller: But what I do is,

what it consists of is responding

794

:

to RFPs to speak, or they reach

out to you, or you have an agent.

795

:

I don't have an agent

or belong to an agency.

796

:

I probably never will.

797

:

and they will look at your, your request,

to speak as, requests for proposal.

798

:

They'll look at your proposal,

they'll look at the other ones,

799

:

and they'll make a decision.

800

:

or not they want to bring you on.

801

:

So usually you have what

is called a keynote.

802

:

So mine is resilience in the

face of the known and the unknown

803

:

because they are different.

804

:

So I speak on that's my keynote.

805

:

And then I have a bunch of breakouts that

I can do on trust on, fundraising, skills.

806

:

I do self-esteem, one on

coaching, things of that nature.

807

:

So those are breakouts.

808

:

And so what you do is you're doing,

there's only two ways to do 'em

809

:

in person or online, or it hybrid,

but it's, let's call that online.

810

:

And I go around the country when I so

choose or when I'm asked to speak I

811

:

fly in, I do my talk and I fly out.

812

:

but I'm a real, I'm a little different.

813

:

I'm not a little different.

814

:

I'm somewhat different than

I'm very much into the people.

815

:

So a lot of times I spend most of my

time after I talk meeting people and

816

:

just talking with them one-on-one,

talking with them one-on-one.

817

:

Where you at?

818

:

Male or female?

819

:

but I won't mentor you if a female,

but I'll speak with you the talk.

820

:

'cause people will come up

and want to talk about, shame.

821

:

They want to talk about,

bouncing back from a death.

822

:

They'll want to talk about what,

whatever some of the things that I may

823

:

have spoken about in my conversation.

824

:

Because what they, on, again,

the client, I can be more honest,

825

:

depending, depending on the audience.

826

:

What I mean, I can be more forthcoming

there's certain things I cannot

827

:

talk about, depending on the

client, and I won't, I respect that.

828

:

I'm not here to shock people.

829

:

But there's some where I talk where it's.

830

:

It's down and dirty

when I go into prisons.

831

:

Yeah.

832

:

Or I go into youth prisons and I'll speak,

or I'm talking with a group of ex addicts.

833

:

we gonna keep it real and I'm

gonna go down just like that.

834

:

Like my voice will change.

835

:

We gonna keep it real.

836

:

Let's chop it up.

837

:

This is what happened.

838

:

And then I can talk to them

because that'll resonate with them.

839

:

I talk to the audience.

840

:

It's always about the audience.

841

:

And that is, 'cause I'm talking to

the show host or the in individual

842

:

event coordinator, what do you want?

843

:

Because that's what I'm

here, you're paying me.

844

:

What do you want?

845

:

It's not about my, that's my self-esteem

or patting myself in the back.

846

:

I made a great talk and

shocked a bunch of people.

847

:

That's not what I'm about.

848

:

I'm about how can I be a

value added to your audience.

849

:

Russell Newton: What are some of the

people that you've associated with?

850

:

Do you mentioned several names.

851

:

Have you worked with, or

been in presentations where

852

:

Zig Ziglar, I don't know.

853

:

Is he still touring?

854

:

were some of those.

855

:

Ken Miller: I was even a lot, I

856

:

Russell Newton: I don't know.

857

:

Ken Miller: in the eighties,

858

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

859

:

Ken Miller: we had these

and it wasn't even speakers.

860

:

They were famous business I grew up in

the Tommy Hopkins, Zig Ziglar, who's

861

:

the one that walks on the hot rocks.

862

:

he's still doing his,

863

:

Russell Newton: yeah.

864

:

I don't remember the name,

but I remember the concept.

865

:

Yeah.

866

:

I.

867

:

Ken Miller: yeah.

868

:

And it will come to me, of course,

once, once we get off the podcast.

869

:

I personally haven't, I am writing

a book, which is going to be

870

:

phenomenal, and I'm just claiming it.

871

:

Because I expect excellence from

me and I produce excellence.

872

:

True.

873

:

But I'm writing a book

with a gentleman named Dr.

874

:

Will Morland, is one of the top 10

inspirational speakers in the world.

875

:

And we're writing a book on respect,

the topic of respect, because

876

:

it's one of the most important

topics in communities of color.

877

:

I've known more people to

get hurt over that word.

878

:

People think it's over

drugs, money or sex.

879

:

It's over respect.

880

:

That's just a manifestation

of your disrespect to me.

881

:

And therefore, I have

882

:

Russell Newton: Wow.

883

:

Ken Miller: a talk.

884

:

I have some self-talk and I have a script

I have to play out if you disrespect me.

885

:

And that can also go into

the corporate boardroom.

886

:

It can go into in relations, marriages,

where the wife disrespects or the

887

:

man disrespects, the, the wife,

whatever it may be and causes.

888

:

So we're writing a whole book on that.

889

:

Anyway, that's Dr.

890

:

Will Morland.

891

:

That, I'll be writing that book with,

I've met a lot of the, especially in

892

:

the community, so again, I'm sometimes

very specific to the black community.

893

:

I know some of the larger, speakers,

more famous because I belong to a group

894

:

called National Speakers Association,

just came back from their conference.

895

:

We have 2000, 3000

people at the conference.

896

:

We're all speakers.

897

:

We're all speakers, and we're learning

how to be better speakers or many times

898

:

to be inspired be, to stay in the field.

899

:

It's not an easy field for many people.

900

:

I don't need the money.

901

:

So I'm real fortunate,

people are in their, as their

902

:

Russell Newton: To make a living.

903

:

Ken Miller: make a living.

904

:

I don't, that's not how I make my living

and that's not why I'm in the field.

905

:

But I still respect it tremendously.

906

:

field and those individuals, standing

on the shoulders of giants and

907

:

there are giants within, our field.

908

:

they are very good.

909

:

There's a skillset to speaking, but the

910

:

Russell Newton: Sure.

911

:

Ken Miller: is, there's two aspects I

always talk about in the speaking world

912

:

and the two aspects is the business of

speaking and then the art of, and science

913

:

of speaking stage craft, we'll call it.

914

:

But a lot of people are great speakers,

but they are poor business people.

915

:

Russell Newton: That opens

up a lot of possibility too.

916

:

we're coming in on an hour and I

want have to be careful of our time.

917

:

So if you have anything you want to

a way to contact you, information

918

:

where they can hear you, where

they can find you, where they can

919

:

contact you about, being a mentor.

920

:

if you'll give us a little rundown

there on those two things, however

921

:

that comes to your mind, skip, whatever

you don't want to answer in there and

922

:

move on to something else is fine.

923

:

and then give us a word of advice

that you might want to leave

924

:

our, in our listeners' ear.

925

:

And, we'll close it out after that.

926

:

Ken Miller: Okay, so I'm

a very ordered person.

927

:

Very ordered.

928

:

I'm looking around my desk right now.

929

:

I have two computer screens.

930

:

I got my sure microphone, I have my

ring light for the podcast, all I

931

:

have is one pen in my office, one pen.

932

:

I have one docket, eight

and a half by 11 pad.

933

:

Every day I come in, I make my list.

934

:

I date it, what day it is.

935

:

I give myself a word of inspiration.

936

:

Mine today is focus because

I'm just back in from vacation.

937

:

I put my start time and I make my list.

938

:

start my day that way.

939

:

I run five businesses,

five I have assistants.

940

:

Okay?

941

:

I the VAs.

942

:

fact, one of my companies is offshore

virtual assistants that are trained in ai.

943

:

I am big into ai.

944

:

That's a whole nother podcast.

945

:

And I've done those.

946

:

Russell Newton: Right.

947

:

Ken Miller: I work out four days a week.

948

:

I used to be a lifter,

but those days are gone.

949

:

have to do something in penitentiary.

950

:

I, how do I put this?

951

:

I don't pray a lot.

952

:

Let me put that preface to that.

953

:

But I have the ability to

go into prayer quickly.

954

:

I have a whole talk I do

on what I call gap control.

955

:

And I just wanna go into that

just real quick to understand

956

:

why when I come to the prayer.

957

:

gap control is one of the most

important skills, especially for men.

958

:

You say, why does it have to be for men?

959

:

Because we are violent by nature.

960

:

We are violent by nature.

961

:

All over the history of this world

as humans, males are violent.

962

:

Okay?

963

:

I'm not gonna go into why the

evolutionary biology, but we are.

964

:

having said that, and remember I talk

a lot about respect and disrespect.

965

:

have input that comes in through our

senses most of the time we hear it, it

966

:

can be a touch or somebody stepped on

our toe in the club or the disco, and

967

:

we have a reaction instead of an action.

968

:

'cause you've disrespected me.

969

:

Let's go back to respect.

970

:

Respect is acknowledgement of a person's

position or stature within a community.

971

:

Acknowledgement of a person's position

or stature within the community.

972

:

Community of the family, community

of the corporation, community of the

973

:

streets, community of the, penitentiary.

974

:

But there's a community and I have a

position within that community, if you do

975

:

not acknowledge it, we have repercussions.

976

:

we are in a disrespect Understand

disrespect, and we're taught this,

977

:

especially as black men from early age.

978

:

Don't ever let anybody disrespect you.

979

:

So the input comes in.

980

:

Can you a gap

981

:

so that it is not a reaction, but.

982

:

It comes an action.

983

:

And so what I've learned to do, 'cause I

did not have this and I talked to a lot

984

:

of men who work on this, is now, instead

of reacting, I act, I get the input and I

985

:

go into the cognitive part because I don't

want to go back into the lia and go into,

986

:

some of the more primitive parts of the

brain and use emotion to make a decision.

987

:

Do not use emotion

predominantly to make decisions.

988

:

Okay?

989

:

It can be great to inspire.

990

:

I'm not gonna go there, but.

991

:

So anyway, so I've learned to create

that gap control, and now I try to, so

992

:

why do I bring this up in this talk is

because I want to get to a point where

993

:

we have what we call the 11th step in

the programs and the anonymous programs.

994

:

So through prayer and meditation to

improve our conscious contact with

995

:

God, praying only for knowledge of

his will, which is his will is the

996

:

next indicated correct thing to do,

and the power to carry that out.

997

:

I pray when I have input come in

that I know from my experience

998

:

and my maturity that there's a

tendency I wanna react, usually

999

:

verbally, which is to threaten you.

:

00:50:46,289 --> 00:50:52,354

And then many time in the past it's been

physical, but I haven't touched anybody.

:

00:50:52,354 --> 00:50:53,209

We call it touched.

:

00:50:53,509 --> 00:50:55,189

I haven't touched anybody in 21 years.

:

00:50:55,594 --> 00:51:00,184

I've been sober for 21 years and

I have not put hands on anyone.

:

00:51:00,514 --> 00:51:11,204

So I don't pray that often, but when

I do, it's for good reason because my

:

00:51:11,204 --> 00:51:16,664

will is in alignment with God's Will

I do a succession of good things?

:

00:51:16,754 --> 00:51:17,294

I do.

:

00:51:17,349 --> 00:51:18,509

I'm not trying to pat myself.

:

00:51:18,509 --> 00:51:20,339

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I do.

:

00:51:20,579 --> 00:51:21,569

I'm just a nice guy.

:

00:51:22,439 --> 00:51:27,119

One of the things that I heard

in:

:

00:51:27,119 --> 00:51:32,039

a meeting anonymous programs,

said, I am a kind and gentle man.

:

00:51:32,729 --> 00:51:36,509

I almost fell outta my chair 'cause

I was on the streets trying to get

:

00:51:36,509 --> 00:51:39,089

sober had never heard a man say that.

:

00:51:39,089 --> 00:51:40,114

He was kind and gentle.

:

00:51:40,414 --> 00:51:45,454

I still remember it, and I am

today a kind and gentle man.

:

00:51:46,609 --> 00:51:49,489

And so that's who I wanted to

become, and I've become that person.

:

00:51:49,849 --> 00:51:52,129

So anyway, I go into prayer.

:

00:51:52,519 --> 00:51:53,989

I'm very organized.

:

00:51:54,049 --> 00:51:59,539

Order is probably one of my favorite

wor words or concepts, and that's

:

00:51:59,539 --> 00:52:03,199

one of the things that I do is

I bring order from disorder.

:

00:52:04,009 --> 00:52:08,389

a lot of times there's disorder in the

head and of course in our physical,

:

00:52:08,449 --> 00:52:12,529

but I at least have, remember I

said my word today was focused.

:

00:52:12,709 --> 00:52:14,419

I have very little distractions.

:

00:52:14,869 --> 00:52:16,129

So I am focused.

:

00:52:16,309 --> 00:52:17,959

I control my environment.

:

00:52:18,009 --> 00:52:23,309

you can read any of the habit books

where, James Clear talks quite a

:

00:52:23,309 --> 00:52:25,199

bit about it, that great books too.

:

00:52:25,579 --> 00:52:31,159

big fan of habits because I've had

'em good and bad, but I've had 'em.

:

00:52:32,359 --> 00:52:35,719

anyway, that's what I

do to organize my day.

:

00:52:35,779 --> 00:52:37,099

I try to eat well.

:

00:52:37,279 --> 00:52:39,319

I try to balance, I even try.

:

00:52:40,419 --> 00:52:42,694

And I, that's changed in

the last couple years.

:

00:52:42,724 --> 00:52:49,544

I'm so much more into family, I

married into a family and I have

:

00:52:49,544 --> 00:52:52,064

the grandkids who I love to death.

:

00:52:52,094 --> 00:52:53,654

You can see my smile come on my face.

:

00:52:53,654 --> 00:52:57,284

I get to see one of 'em today,

which I'm super excited.

:

00:52:57,284 --> 00:52:58,194

'cause, we've been gone for,

:

00:52:58,494 --> 00:52:58,824

Russell Newton: Right

:

00:52:58,879 --> 00:52:59,359

Ken Miller: and a half.

:

00:52:59,669 --> 00:53:00,389

that's what I do.

:

00:53:00,439 --> 00:53:01,519

I make the list.

:

00:53:01,519 --> 00:53:03,289

That's probably the key component.

:

00:53:03,619 --> 00:53:05,149

And I stay focused.

:

00:53:05,539 --> 00:53:07,459

I try not to get too distracted.

:

00:53:07,639 --> 00:53:12,919

I work out, I try to eat well,

and I just try to love on people.

:

00:53:13,219 --> 00:53:15,229

And in return, I've been blessed.

:

00:53:15,289 --> 00:53:16,909

I have a beautiful life.

:

00:53:17,389 --> 00:53:18,199

Beautiful life.

:

00:53:18,679 --> 00:53:22,759

Okay, so that is question number one.

:

00:53:23,599 --> 00:53:23,869

Okay.

:

00:53:23,869 --> 00:53:27,374

And then question number two is

words of wisdom or what I wanna leave

:

00:53:27,424 --> 00:53:28,794

Russell Newton: is there

something you wanted to touch

:

00:53:28,794 --> 00:53:30,234

on that we haven't mentioned?

:

00:53:30,334 --> 00:53:31,864

Ken Miller: Sure, there's two things.

:

00:53:31,864 --> 00:53:36,364

Number one, if you would like to learn

more about me or hear me speak more

:

00:53:36,364 --> 00:53:38,464

on this, go to my YouTube channel.

:

00:53:38,614 --> 00:53:39,934

So I have a YouTube channel.

:

00:53:39,964 --> 00:53:42,274

Ken Miller is a very good one.

:

00:53:42,424 --> 00:53:46,744

And then you can also go

to ken miller speaks.com.

:

00:53:47,614 --> 00:53:52,599

I'd and I'd love to speak, I hate to say

it, but I speak a lot of times for free.

:

00:53:52,864 --> 00:53:54,154

I just want to give back.

:

00:53:54,154 --> 00:53:59,704

I had a chance to talk to SHRM, which

is the Society of HR Managers flew up

:

00:53:59,704 --> 00:54:06,424

on my dollar in dime because they wanted

to talk about ex hiring, excon convicts.

:

00:54:06,754 --> 00:54:10,864

And I'm like, if this helps the

help an individual get a chance

:

00:54:11,424 --> 00:54:11,774

Russell Newton: Right.

:

00:54:12,194 --> 00:54:16,664

Ken Miller: work within and work with

these HR managers, I'll do that for free.

:

00:54:17,114 --> 00:54:18,284

I'll do that on my dollar.

:

00:54:18,744 --> 00:54:19,344

I'm blessed.

:

00:54:19,344 --> 00:54:20,634

I'm not worried about that part.

:

00:54:21,234 --> 00:54:23,274

So I, so anyway, that's one.

:

00:54:23,274 --> 00:54:25,344

I have a book called Becoming Kin.

:

00:54:25,344 --> 00:54:29,064

It's on Amazon, audio books, the above.

:

00:54:29,184 --> 00:54:30,894

So that's becoming kin.

:

00:54:31,264 --> 00:54:36,154

it says a Black Man's Journey from

the Ivy Leagues to and back again.

:

00:54:36,874 --> 00:54:41,989

And then also, I have a couple

other websites, but let's go

:

00:54:41,989 --> 00:54:43,609

with ken miller speaks.com,

:

00:54:43,669 --> 00:54:47,029

and then of course you can

do all the social media.

:

00:54:47,269 --> 00:54:52,929

Instagram, I'm really big on, and then,

Facebook and also LinkedIn and feel free.

:

00:54:53,079 --> 00:54:55,719

The other thing is feel free

to contact me, anyone who's

:

00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:57,569

hearing this, and I answer yes.

:

00:54:57,569 --> 00:54:58,829

I have virtual assists.

:

00:54:58,829 --> 00:55:02,819

I have four of them, but I answer

all emails and phone calls.

:

00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:04,169

I answer 'em.

:

00:55:04,559 --> 00:55:04,829

Okay.

:

00:55:05,549 --> 00:55:07,019

or they're sent to me and I answer 'em.

:

00:55:07,119 --> 00:55:07,269

okay.

:

00:55:07,269 --> 00:55:07,839

That's number.

:

00:55:08,679 --> 00:55:12,219

then any, maybe any words of

wisdom that I'd like to leave.

:

00:55:13,314 --> 00:55:14,634

The on and I wanna speak.

:

00:55:14,664 --> 00:55:19,044

So if anybody has anything about speaking,

I want to speak free or for pay, I just

:

00:55:19,044 --> 00:55:22,134

love to speak, the words of wisdom.

:

00:55:23,124 --> 00:55:23,994

Get a mentor.

:

00:55:25,794 --> 00:55:30,174

And the way you get a mentor, you

find someone that you see something

:

00:55:30,174 --> 00:55:31,614

in them that you would like.

:

00:55:32,194 --> 00:55:37,444

and I'm more talking about how they walk

this earth, how they carry themselves.

:

00:55:37,924 --> 00:55:43,234

When people see me, one of the things that

they right away is I'm very confident.

:

00:55:44,164 --> 00:55:46,474

And I'm very, and the

world is even competent.

:

00:55:46,594 --> 00:55:49,234

I'm very competent to life.

:

00:55:50,164 --> 00:55:51,874

I can deal with anything in life.

:

00:55:52,654 --> 00:55:53,674

dealt with deaths.

:

00:55:53,884 --> 00:55:58,654

I've dealt with financial, I've dealt

with prison, I've dealt with suicide.

:

00:55:58,654 --> 00:56:02,794

I've dealt with attempted

murders, I've dealt with life.

:

00:56:03,364 --> 00:56:04,174

I can do life.

:

00:56:04,264 --> 00:56:06,184

I'm not afraid of life.

:

00:56:06,364 --> 00:56:08,554

And most importantly,

I'm not afraid of me.

:

00:56:09,694 --> 00:56:13,599

I'm not in a biblical or an

adversarial relationship with self.

:

00:56:13,629 --> 00:56:14,109

I'm not.

:

00:56:14,409 --> 00:56:14,799

I'm not.

:

00:56:15,429 --> 00:56:16,029

I like me.

:

00:56:16,149 --> 00:56:16,839

I'm a good dude.

:

00:56:16,959 --> 00:56:17,979

I'm a kind of gentle man.

:

00:56:18,249 --> 00:56:18,489

Okay.

:

00:56:18,879 --> 00:56:23,089

So number one, if you can't get

a mentor, get someone outside.

:

00:56:23,089 --> 00:56:24,559

Counsel is what I call it.

:

00:56:25,759 --> 00:56:28,919

And the way you do that is you go

up with someone and say, would you

:

00:56:28,919 --> 00:56:30,599

be willing or open to mentoring me?

:

00:56:30,869 --> 00:56:31,919

I'm looking for a mentor.

:

00:56:32,289 --> 00:56:36,909

sometimes they won't, but they'll know

someone and know something about you.

:

00:56:36,909 --> 00:56:43,199

So the number one thing is to ask is to

have the courage, that courage to Okay?

:

00:56:43,349 --> 00:56:49,199

And then the other thing that I would

strongly recommend to have a dream.

:

00:56:50,219 --> 00:56:53,409

And the dream may be just

to be a better husband.

:

00:56:53,469 --> 00:56:58,244

The dream may be just to be a better

father or a better wife or whatever.

:

00:56:58,244 --> 00:57:02,744

Maybe that may be the dream,

but have something to aspire to.

:

00:57:03,614 --> 00:57:05,924

And then reward yourself along the way.

:

00:57:06,594 --> 00:57:10,734

give yourself allowance to make

mistakes and to bounce back.

:

00:57:10,734 --> 00:57:13,704

I wouldn't even have my talk

if it wasn't for resilience.

:

00:57:13,794 --> 00:57:14,304

Okay.

:

00:57:14,674 --> 00:57:16,534

which is the bounce back from the setback.

:

00:57:16,894 --> 00:57:18,364

The comeback from the setback.

:

00:57:19,194 --> 00:57:23,614

leave yourself and then if you

do this is, leave with this one.

:

00:57:23,644 --> 00:57:27,124

This a hundred different ones I could

talk about, but I'll leave with this one

:

00:57:30,574 --> 00:57:31,384

if possible.

:

00:57:31,384 --> 00:57:33,364

Engage with a spiritual entity.

:

00:57:34,564 --> 00:57:36,574

But I wanna under, I make

sure you understand what I

:

00:57:36,574 --> 00:57:38,644

mean by a spiritual presence.

:

00:57:39,454 --> 00:57:44,944

spiritual presence has to modify behavior.

:

00:57:45,724 --> 00:57:48,694

me say that one more time because

that's how important I believe this is.

:

00:57:49,114 --> 00:57:56,044

The spiritual entity or presence or

God, whatever you may want to define it

:

00:57:56,134 --> 00:58:00,874

as, has to modify action and behavior.

:

00:58:02,584 --> 00:58:04,414

If not, it's hollow.

:

00:58:05,514 --> 00:58:07,474

I'm not talking about, seriously.

:

00:58:07,864 --> 00:58:13,234

So if you are a strong Mormon and

that modifies your behavior in

:

00:58:13,234 --> 00:58:16,024

a positive way, God bless you.

:

00:58:16,684 --> 00:58:20,634

If you're a strong person of the

Islamic faith and it modifies your

:

00:58:20,634 --> 00:58:27,504

behavior or self will, that is inimical

or an opposition to God's will.

:

00:58:27,984 --> 00:58:28,674

Thank you.

:

00:58:29,844 --> 00:58:36,694

If you are an atheist that has a

concept of a, a certain thing that

:

00:58:36,694 --> 00:58:40,954

I'm going to adhere to that's based on

integrity or whatever it may be, but it

:

00:58:40,954 --> 00:58:45,814

modifies your behavior, knock yourself

out, agnostic, knock yourself out.

:

00:58:45,844 --> 00:58:46,504

go for it.

:

00:58:47,194 --> 00:58:48,094

But it has to.

:

00:58:48,454 --> 00:58:54,224

So when I go into prayer and I do it,

but rarely, let me put seldom ' cause I

:

00:58:54,224 --> 00:58:56,949

don't need to, I don't have any friction.

:

00:58:58,454 --> 00:59:04,364

What I ask is identify what is the right

thing to do here for my loved ones for

:

00:59:04,364 --> 00:59:09,464

society Now, what's going to give me the

least amount of pain or the most pleasure?

:

00:59:09,524 --> 00:59:11,834

'cause those are the two

reasons we go into self will.

:

00:59:12,014 --> 00:59:15,224

That's a iCal or opposite of God's will.

:

00:59:15,584 --> 00:59:17,684

But what is going to be

the right thing to do?

:

00:59:18,404 --> 00:59:21,164

And then once you've identified that,

it doesn't take usually that long.

:

00:59:21,164 --> 00:59:24,884

I usually know what the right thing

to do is me the courage to do it.

:

00:59:25,289 --> 00:59:26,429

And then I go out and do it.

:

00:59:26,519 --> 00:59:31,679

'cause I'm gonna do it because I have

covenant like David did in the Bible.

:

00:59:31,679 --> 00:59:33,989

I have a covenant, I have an agreement.

:

00:59:34,259 --> 00:59:36,449

'cause you've taken me through a lot.

:

00:59:37,169 --> 00:59:40,799

There's things that I've survived

physically and emotionally.

:

00:59:41,579 --> 00:59:43,709

I hate to say a lot of

people don't survive.

:

00:59:44,339 --> 00:59:45,734

They don't, here.

:

00:59:45,754 --> 00:59:46,024

Russell Newton: right.

:

00:59:46,394 --> 00:59:47,234

Ken Miller: They're in prison.

:

00:59:47,234 --> 00:59:49,244

They're dead, or they're in addiction.

:

00:59:50,264 --> 00:59:50,324

Okay.

:

00:59:50,469 --> 00:59:51,074

That's it.

:

00:59:52,234 --> 00:59:53,134

Russell Newton: Thank you very much.

:

00:59:53,134 --> 00:59:54,364

Thanks for being with us today.

:

00:59:54,644 --> 00:59:54,854

Ken Miller: you.

:

00:59:55,984 --> 00:59:58,899

Russell Newton: So many strong points

that I'm looking forward to editing

:

00:59:59,149 --> 01:00:00,379

and hearing some of these things.

:

01:00:00,379 --> 01:00:05,399

Again, listeners, Ken Miller, you

can learn more at Ken Miller on

:

01:00:05,399 --> 01:00:07,739

YouTube, ken miller speaks.com,

:

01:00:07,739 --> 01:00:08,459

on the internet.

:

01:00:08,799 --> 01:00:13,239

a book Becoming Ken on Amazon

and Audible and other platforms.

:

01:00:13,239 --> 01:00:17,629

There many ways to learn more, from

a man that I feel has a great deal

:

01:00:17,629 --> 01:00:22,939

to give and is just as importantly,

willing and has the courage to

:

01:00:22,939 --> 01:00:24,999

do Thank you, for your time.

:

01:00:25,089 --> 01:00:27,159

Listeners, thank you, Ken, for your time.

:

01:00:27,609 --> 01:00:28,539

Hope you have a great day.

:

01:00:28,789 --> 01:00:29,539

welcome back.

:

01:00:29,839 --> 01:00:33,539

Hope you recover from vacation,

quickly and get right back into things.

:

01:00:33,539 --> 01:00:36,359

Listeners, thanks for joining us

and we'll see you again next week

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About the Podcast

Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler
Audiobook synopsises for the masses
You know that guy that reads all the time, and always has a book recommendation for you?

Well, I read and/or produce hundreds of audiobooks a year, and when I read one that has good material, I feature it here. This is my Recommended Listening list. These choices are not influenced by authors or sponsors, just books worthy of your consideration.

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Russell Newton