The Science of Likability (4th Ed.) By: Patrick King
Hear it Here - https://www.audible.com/pd/B09SM4TSBZ/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-298425&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_298425_pd_us
100% scientifically-proven ways to make friends quickly, turn enemies into friends, gain trust, and be flat-out likable.
Utilize the most interesting, shocking, and counterintuitive findings in psychological science to simply make people want to be around you. The Science of Likability takes over 67 seminal scientific and psychological studies and breaks them down into real, usable guidelines and tips to create the presence you have always wanted. Every piece of advice in this book to increase your social standing and likability factor is 100% backed by in-depth, peer-reviewed research, and it goes far beyond simple common sense and intuition.
Learn how to subconsciously make yourself likable, trustworthy, and intelligent.
You can get a new haircut and wardrobe, and you even learn knock-knock jokes. But likability is something more. It's subconscious, and it's about the small signs that signal our brains to let their guards down, seek others out, and embrace them. We know what to do if we want to make someone hate us - we now also know what to do to become someone's favorite person.
Understand what makes people tick, and strategically give it to them.
There are seminal studies from (in)famous researchers such as Sigmund Freud, Ivan Pavlov, Stanley Schachter, and Daniel Goleman, but also the most up-to-date discoveries from 2022 - all insightful, analytical, sometimes surprising, but most importantly effective and actionable. Pair that with the insight and human intelligence factor of bestselling author and social skills coach Patrick King, and you have a guide that can be read equally for education as for helpful, real advice. Patrick's writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
How to take advantage of people's memories for your sense of charm.
The power of equity in relationships and friendships.
A literal formula for "friendship chemistry."
The real way to use eye contact to build trust.
Why tripping and being vulnerable in front of people is positive.
Universal definitions of charisma, wit, and humor - seriously. Universal.
How to look at, and touch someone effectively to generate attraction.
Being likable unlocks the doors to everything you want in life.
A better career? You better believe that the people with the most promotions and highest salaries aren't just the most qualified. Better love life? Being likable makes you a potential love interest to anyone you want. Better relationships and friendships? Not only that, but you open the door to people wanting to be friends with you. Likability is the hidden force that makes people appear to be lucky in life and receive more opportunities than they know what to do with. Likability drives us forward, not intelligence or luck.
https://www.audible.com/pd/B09SM4TSBZ/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-298425&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_298425_pd_us
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Transcript
Like many college underclassmen who had no idea what they wanted to study, I chose to major in psychology.
I thought it was a good default choice because the knowledge theoretically had wide application and could transfer to any other field. After all, psychology is the study of people, and I would be dealing with people anywhere I went, right? It also didn’t hurt that I heard the vast majority of the classes had open-book, multiple-choice midterms and finals.
So I checked the box next to “Bachelor of Science in Psychology” and went on with my day. It was something I devoted all of ten minutes of thought to, but in reality, I could have done much worse. Psychology has turned out to be incredibly applicable to my life, relationships, and career.
Psychology isn’t about reading minds or interpreting dreams, though that’s the impression some people may have. It’s more accurate to say that psychology is the study of why people do the things they do—beyond the obvious reasons you can see on the surface and often beyond people’s own understanding and consciousness.
This has obvious applications, such as seeing why some advertisements are more effective than others, why a child will rush to do something they are explicitly told not to do, and the plain effect on behavior that positive and negative associations can have.
But the biggest takeaway from my degree was that so many of our decisions are made completely subconsciously and without any awareness on our part. Our conscious thought follows our subconscious will, and it often isn’t until far after we act that we figure out what actually happened. We may think we are acting logically and reasonably in a situation—we may even use defense mechanisms to defend and justify our actions—but this is just our subconscious getting its way.
bert experiment, conducted in:
Next, the researchers paired the rat with a loud crashing noise, which frightened Albert and made him cry in most instances. After only a couple of exposures pairing the rat and the crashing noise, Albert was presented with the rat alone again. He reacted as if the crashing noise was also present; he had become afraid of the rat by itself. But if he could talk, he wouldn’t have been able to explain why. He just knew that anything involving the rat was bad.
He had started associating the rat with the loud noise that frightened him and wasn’t consciously aware of why he was suddenly recoiling and crying whenever he saw the rat by itself.
On the one hand, this tendency to be quickly conditioned to avoid negative situations is something that probably has evolutionary roots. If you didn’t quickly learn that furry, growling animals with large teeth were bad news, you likely didn’t stay alive too long. Regardless, Little Albert provided insight into how something seemingly so subtle and unrelated could affect people’s actions in very real ways.
Actually, that was proven in:
