The Complaining Cure: How to Find Happiness Even When You're Grumbling
The Anxiety Cure: 37 Science-Based (5-Minute) Methods to Beat Back the Blues, Stay Positive, and Finally Relax (The Path to Calm Book 15) By: Nick Trenton
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Small neuroscience tweaks that can completely change your relationship with your own thoughts. Time to find your anxiety cure instead of endlessly thinking about it.
Anxiety is a funny thing. We can’t always define it, but we know it when we have or don’t have it. Well, forget defining it – just use scientific and psychological tips to GET RID OF IT!
Learn to wake up excited and energized each day, not dreading your life.
The Anxiety Cure is a simple guide to making your every waking moment a CALM one. It’s not full of woo-woo advice that you can’t use – it’s 100% actions that you will scientifically reduce your anxiety, and also increase your happiness, dopamine, serotonin, you name it. Each idea has true science behind it, and includes a plan for implementing it into your daily life. This isn’t a blog post with abstract ideas, this is a book of action and implementation.
Welcome to accessible and practical neuroscience!
A calm mind is the most elusive thing in human history. Take a shortcut with this book.
Nick Trenton grew up in rural Illinois and is quite literally a farm boy. His best friend growing up was his trusty companion Leonard the dachshund. RIP Leonard. Eventually, he made it off the farm and obtained a BS in Economics, followed by an MA in Behavioral Psychology.
Equally important – learn to remove unhappiness and discomfort from your life!
What a little bit of hope and anticipation can do for your entire mood
Can it really be as simple as stimulating your brain’s pleasure centers with ice cream?
How to optimize your DOSE hormones
The importance of social activity and interaction for the brain
How to change your environment to trigger happiness - easily but seldom done
Aging as a key to contentment?
How happiness can start from inside-out, or outside-in.
#Complaining #Cropanzano #Demerouti #OrganizationalPsychology #SqueakyWheel #GuyWinch #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #NickTrenton #ThePathtoCalm #TheAnxietyCure #MasterTheArtOfComplaining
Transcript
If we want to calm our raging anxiety and be happy, we'd better learn to shut up and
Speaker:stop complaining, right?
Speaker:Maybe.
Speaker:But maybe not.
Speaker:A 2015 study in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology by Demiruti and
Speaker:Krompanzano tried to investigate the effects of complaining on mental health.
Speaker:The researchers asked half of their participants to write about a situation at work they were
Speaker:irritated by.
Speaker:And then they tracked the moods of these participants over the course of their workdays.
Speaker:They also had another non-complaining control group.
Speaker:The researchers discovered that the people who complained reported being less satisfied
Speaker:during the day and even into the next morning than those who didn't complain.
Speaker:Complaining they concluded does nothing to fix the problem and in fact just makes matters
Speaker:worse.
Speaker:But could there be more to it than this?
Speaker:It's obvious that excessive complaining can damage our relationships and bring other
Speaker:people down.
Speaker:But few can argue that good rant now and then isn't satisfying.
Speaker:The fact is, there will always be something annoying, unfair or uncomfortable in life.
Speaker:We can't pretend it isn't there or lie and say that it doesn't bother us, so perhaps
Speaker:it's worth figuring out how to complain properly.
Speaker:In the book The Squeaky Wheel, Guy Winch explains the technique he calls the Complaint
Speaker:Sandwich.
Speaker:This is a way to make complaints so that they actually help solve your problems rather than
Speaker:just exacerbate your bad feelings about those problems.
Speaker:Here's how to make the sandwich.
Speaker:The first slice of bread is the ear opener to gently introduce your complaint to another
Speaker:person.
Speaker:The meat of the sandwich is the complaint itself.
Speaker:The other piece of bread is the digestive, which helps the complaint go down better.
Speaker:For example, note the three parts in the following sandwich.
Speaker:I'm very happy you've agreed to take on this project.
Speaker:You haven't followed the instructions for the first part though, I'm sure it was just
Speaker:a mix-up, but if you could sort it out as soon as possible I would really appreciate
Speaker:it.
Speaker:You see, the problem with the way the people in Demirudi and Crumponzano's study complained
Speaker:was that it was impotent.
Speaker:The complaints never served any purpose and never went anywhere, but complaining can be
Speaker:put to good use if we approach it with either a solution or a very particular goal in mind.
Speaker:Stretchy complaining can actually be empowering if done correctly.
Speaker:You could complain about the weather to break the ice and make small talk with someone you
Speaker:don't know.
Speaker:You could complain to make sure others know not to take you for granted or try to wriggle
Speaker:out of responsibilities.
Speaker:You could complain to bring attention to unacceptable behavior.
Speaker:Kowalski and colleagues published a study in the Journal of Social Psychology that asked
Speaker:the question, how do happy people complain?
Speaker:They concluded that happy, or more accurately mindful people, tended to complain in a deliberate
Speaker:way and complained productively.
Speaker:The authors claim, perhaps people who are more mindful modulate the type of complaints
Speaker:they offer, preferring to engage in instrumental types of complaints over expressive complaints,
Speaker:whereby expressing complaints only when they believe they will accomplish desired outcomes.
Speaker:So how do we engage in more instrumental complaining?
Speaker:One thing is to make sure that we don't dwell.
Speaker:Expressing unhappiness can be cathartic, can lower anxiety, and can get things moving.
Speaker:But if we don't stop complaining, we risk dwelling on those bad feelings and milking
Speaker:them for what they're worth.
Speaker:If you have something to whine about, put limits on it.
Speaker:Limit how long you'll vent and who you'll vent to.
Speaker:It's about moderation.
Speaker:It's seldom wise to complain excessively to someone you don't know well, so pick your
Speaker:audience wisely.
Speaker:Tell yourself that you're getting something off your chest, but after that you will either
Speaker:take constructive action or you will keep quiet.
Speaker:If something continues to bother you, use the energy of annoyance to power you to do
Speaker:something about it.
Speaker:If you cannot materially change your situation, then you could pick up your journal.
Speaker:But again, your intention counts.
Speaker:Instead of passively listing everything that's wrong in your life, use the written word as
Speaker:a way to process and release negative emotions rather than nurture them.
Speaker:Try to find some meaning or purpose in your annoyance, or use those pages to explore ways
Speaker:that you could cope and be more resilient.
