Proven Strategies to Embrace Growth (Kelley & Connor Model)

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The Art of Letting Go. Stop overthinking, stop negative spirals, and find emotional freedom, written by Nick Trenton, narrated by Russell Newton. Embracing change is essential to a growth mindset because it allows individuals to view challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and development. Therefore, having a growth mindset is crucial when it comes to letting go. By possessing a growth mindset, individuals understand that the mere threat of failure is not an endpoint but rather a steppingstone to success. This perspective allows them to approach any given situation with a sense of curiosity and openness to learning. It allows them to let go of outdated beliefs and negative self-talk, and they are able to embrace new challenges and opportunities for growth. Whether it’s forgiving oneself for past mistakes or moving on from toxic relationships, letting go requires a willingness to release the things that hold one back, and embrace the limitless possibilities of the future. A growth mindset is the belief that one's abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, dedication, and perseverance. Individuals with a growth mindset see failure as a temporary setback and use it as a steppingstone to improve and grow. Change is an inevitable part of life, and individuals who embrace it are more likely to adapt to new situations, learn new skills, and grow as individuals. Change often brings challenges, and individuals who approach those challenges with a growth mindset are more likely to learn from them and find solutions to overcome them. For example, imagine a student who receives a poor grade on a test. A fixed mindset would view this as a reflection of their intelligence and ability, leading them to feel defeated and give up.

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Zaval, Markowitz, and Weber (: 2015

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udy by Lerner and colleagues (: 2015

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The change model developed by psychologists Don Kelley and Daryl Connor takes this into account, helping individuals navigate the ups and downs of change with empathy and understanding. By recognizing the emotions involved and addressing them in a healthy way, change can become less daunting and more manageable. Change can often stir up a range of emotions that can leave people feeling like they’re going off the rails. However, understanding the emotional cycle of change can help bring a sense of normalcy to this rollercoaster of feelings. This cycle is present in various scenarios, such as adjusting to new leadership or board structure and when acquiring new competencies. By acknowledging the different stages of change, including denial, resistance, exploration, commitment, and acknowledgement, people can gain a better understanding of the emotions they face and come out on the other side better equipped to handle them. It's important to remember that change is a process, and with the right mindset, it can lead to growth and transformation for both individuals and organizations. The emotional cycle of change is composed of five stages - uninformed optimism, informed pessimism, valley of despair, informed optimism, and success and fulfilment. The first stage, uninformed optimism, is marked by excitement and anticipation of the benefits that change will bring, but without acknowledging the costs. The second stage, informed pessimism, sets in as people begin to realize the reality of the effort required for change, leading to negative emotions and doubt. The third stage is the lowest point, the valley of despair, where many people give up due to the discomfort and distance of the perceived benefits. If people persevere through this stage, they will reach the fourth stage of informed optimism, where the possibility of success increases and the benefits of change become more apparent. Finally, the fifth stage, success and fulfilment, is reached when the new behaviors become routine, the benefits are fully experienced, and the cost of change is perceived as worth it.

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The key to overcoming the emotional cycle of change is to have a compelling future vision of what an individual wants to achieve, and to persevere through the difficult times. Here’s an example to help illustrate the five stages of change - Say, someone decides to start going to the gym to get in better shape. Uninformed optimism - In this stage, the person is excited about the idea of going to the gym. They imagine the benefits of being in shape—having more energy, feeling more confident, etc.—but haven't actually experienced any of the downsides yet, such as the time and effort it takes to get to the gym regularly. Informed pessimism - After a few trips to the gym, the person may start to feel discouraged. They may realize how difficult it is to stick to a routine, how sore their muscles can get, and how busy the gym can be at certain times. They may question whether it's really worth the effort to keep going. Valley of despair - At this point, the person may hit a low point and consider giving up. Maybe they've missed a few days at the gym, and the idea of starting over feels daunting. They may feel like they're not seeing any results and wonder if all the effort is even worth it. This is a critical stage because if they quit here, they'll have to start all over again. Informed optimism - If they can push through the valley of despair, they may start to see progress. They may notice that they can lift heavier weights or run for longer distances than when they started.

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This progress can be motivating, and they may feel more optimistic about reaching their goal. Success and fulfilment - Finally, after several weeks or months of consistent effort, the person may start to experience the benefits of their hard work. They may feel more confident, have more energy, and notice changes in their body shape. At this point, going to the gym may feel like a normal, routine part of their life, and the initial struggles may feel like a distant memory. Ways To Overcome The Fear Of Change Tackling Underlying Fears If one’s fear of change is based on underlying fears like fear of failure or fear of criticism, they can overcome them by changing their beliefs about failure and criticism. For example, if an individual fears failure, they need to understand that it's a natural part of the learning process and everyone experiences it at some point. By changing their mindset about failure, and understanding that it's not a reflection of their worth as a person, they can be more resilient and persistent in the face of obstacles. Similarly, if one fears criticism, they need to examine whether the opinions of others are really worth conforming to. By understanding that one has the power to shape their own life and make their own choices, they can overcome the fear of criticism and pursue the changes that are important to them. For example, imagine a person wants to start a new business, but they fear failure. By changing their mindset and reframing failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, they can approach the challenge with a more positive attitude. They can also seek out the advice and support of others who have been through similar experiences, which can help them build their confidence and overcome their fear of failure. Consider Jasper’s struggle - He was struggling with a difficult decision.

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He had always dreamed of running his own small business but couldn't shake the fear of failing. He was convinced that if he tried, he would only end up making mistakes and ultimately wasting time and money. It wasn't until he talked to a friend who had started their own successful business that he began to see things differently. By reframing failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, Jasper was able to change his mindset and approach his dream with a more positive attitude. Seeking out the advice and support of others who had been through similar experiences also helped him build his confidence and overcome his fear of failure. Now, Jasper is on his way to fulfilling his dream and is grateful for the mindset shift that got him there. Re-framing Change If one has had negative experiences with change in the past, they can overcome their fear of change by embracing it more often. By exposing themselves to new experiences and challenges, they can build resilience and adaptability. They can also reframe change as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than something to be feared or avoided. For example, if someone has a fear of public speaking, they can start by taking small steps like speaking in front of a small group of friends or family members. As they build their confidence, they can gradually work their way up to larger audiences or more high-pressure situations. By reframing public speaking as an opportunity to share their knowledge and connect with others, they can overcome their fear and pursue new opportunities. Overcoming Natural Human Weakness Humans are wired to seek instant gratification and avoid pain, which can make it difficult to pursue long-term goals or make lasting changes in one’s life.

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by Russell Newton. Copyright: 2023