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Published on:

3rd Feb 2023

CBT and ACT Techniques to Manage Stress and Crises

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We have spent time exploring who we are, what we’re made of, and how we got to be made that way.

In this final chapter, we’re looking at ways to use self-therapy not simply to deepen our self-knowledge, but also to tackle more singular problems that emerge in everyday life.

In CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), the focus is on becoming aware of and changing negative or unhelpful beliefs, as we saw in the first chapter.


But what we can do at crisis points like this is use a technique from ACT, or acceptance and commitment therapy.


This is where the ACT notion of acceptance comes in.


Using the ACT model, we can deliberately practice defusing from our emotions and thoughts.


Here are key techniques to try the next time you are feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions.


Technique #1: Distancing


Technique #2: Labeling


Technique #3: Leaves on a stream meditation


Practice this exercise daily and you will be surprised at how you can change your own relationship to the thoughts that pop into your mind.


#ACT #ANXIETY #CBT #CognitiveBehavioralTherapy #ControlYourFuture #Defusion #Distancing #DrAaronBeck #HealYourself #Meditation #NickTrenton #SelfTherapyTechniques #Therapize #Trenton #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #HowtoTherapizeandHealYourself

Transcript
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We have spent time exploring who we are, what we’re made of, and how we got to be made

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that way.

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But even once we have gained great self-awareness and are conscious of how we work at the every

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level, does that mean we never experience any discomfort, stress, or adversity in life?

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Of course not!

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In this final chapter, we’re looking at ways to use self-therapy not simply to deepen

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our self-knowledge, but also to tackle more singular problems that emerge in everyday

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life.

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No matter how well adjusted we are, we will all encounter stress, disappointment, loss,

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or even trauma.

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Genuine resilience comes from knowing how to manage and cope.

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In CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), the focus is on becoming aware of and changing

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negative or unhelpful beliefs, as we saw in the first chapter.

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But sometimes, this can be extremely difficult to do.

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If you’re stuck in the middle of a crisis or dealing with something who is extremely

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challenging, you’re not likely to have the presence of mind to sit down with a journal

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and rationally pick through your thoughts!

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But what we can do at crisis points like this is use a technique from ACT, or acceptance

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and commitment therapy.

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It’s a process called “cognitive defusion,” and it’s essentially a way to let go of

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internal resistance or struggle.

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With CBT, we might actively engage a faulty or distorted belief and work with it; with

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cognitive defusion, we don’t engage with it at all—we simply find ways to accept,

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release, and let go of the struggle that tells us:

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“This is a problem!

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I hate this!

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It has to stop.”

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Cognitive defusion, which was first called cognitive distancing by Dr. Aaron Beck, the

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founder of cognitive therapy, is a way that we can choose how to relate to our thoughts

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and feelings in different situations.

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The key insight of cognitive defusion is that we can have emotions and thoughts without

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necessarily reacting to them.

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To understand how it all works, let’s consider what Beck understood as cognitive fusion—i.e.,

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being fused with your emotional and experiential perception.

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In this state of mind, your thoughts and your direct experiences get so mixed up that you

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can’t tell them apart.

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A big part of what makes us human is our constant appraisal, interpretation, and reaction to

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reality around it, filtered through our unique perspectives.

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We take our experiences and put them into groups, break them down, judge them, compare

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them to others, and formulate expectations and conclusions.

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All of these mental processes, however, contribute to fusion—the state of being completely

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identified and bonded with our experiences.

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This is what the mind does naturally, and it is a good way to solve most problems.

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In fact, our cognitive abilities can sometimes lead to the desirable and satisfying state

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of flow, in which there is no difference between the self and an interesting, challenging task.

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Our collective achievements in science, technology, and the arts are based on this form of thinking.

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But often, these labels and judgments are negative and global, like "I'm worthless.

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I'm a failure," "He's selfish," or "They're mean."

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Then, these judgments are no longer thoughts we are having or feelings we are temporarily

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experiencing—they become a part of us.

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They come to define us and our experience.

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A simple example will illustrate.

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Remember Jamie, whose bipolar-style mood swings stemmed from a deep sense of his own inadequacy?

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When Jamie is experiencing a high, he is totally fused with that feeling of elation.

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He is that euphoria.

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He loses all perspective and dives deep into that feeling.

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Similarly, when he is down in the dumps, he is so identified with that feeling that he

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completely forgets how he felt just a week ago.

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He doesn’t say, “I’m feeling pretty depressed at the moment,” but rather, “I’m

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a depressed person.

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The world is nothing but despair, and I’m a total failure."

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See the difference?

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we are totally subsumed, identified, and fused with our thoughts and feelings.

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the thoughts and feelings are there, but they do not completely define us or our

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situation forever.

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Jamie often rode a hellish rollercoaster of emotions because he was firmly fused with

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those emotions.

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It’s like being chained to that rollercoaster car, dragged along with every rise and fall.

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But being defused is more like watching the rollercoaster car from somewhere far removed,

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safely on the ground.

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You can see that your emotions are rising and falling, but that doesn’t mean you have

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to completely surrender and go along with them.

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This is where the ACT notion of acceptance comes in.

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When we push against and resist a particular thought or feeling, we are fused with it as

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when we grasp hold of it.

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For example, if Jamie notices a dark mood beginning to creep over him, and he unconsciously

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says, “No, no, no, a depression is coming.

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This is bad thing!” he is just as embroiled with that sensation, just as powerless, as

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when he decides to prolong any “good” feelings that come his way.

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This is important—Defusion is not the same as resistance.

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Rather, resistance and clinging are both forms of fusion, two sides of the same coin.

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So what does defusion look like?

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Does it mean we have to be bland, empty, emotionless?

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Not at all.

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We have all the same reactions, knee-jerk responses, and spontaneous feelings and thoughts

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as we always do.

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But when we are defused, we understand thoughts as thoughts.

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We see feelings as feelings.

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We understand that even though we are scared or angry or sad, it doesn’t mean that we

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will always feel that way.

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We also understand that just because we experience something, it doesn’t mean we are compelled

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to act.

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This is truly liberating—feelings and thoughts are just that.

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Feelings and thoughts.

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That’s all.

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Just temporary electrochemical activity in the brain.

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Just a momentary ripple in the pond.

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They are nothing unless we choose to fuse with them and allow ourselves to be compelled

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by them.

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ACT reminds us that we have that choice.

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Using the ACT model, we can deliberately practice defusing from our emotions and thoughts.

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Importantly, we are not getting rid of them (remember, resistance is just another form

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of fusion), but rather changing our relationship to them.

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Here are four key techniques to try the next time you are feeling overwhelmed by negative

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emotions.

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Distancing

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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too “close” and we are fused, but with

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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a little distance, we can gain perspective and some breathing room.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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We are not the same thing as our thoughts and feelings.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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There is a little gap between them and us.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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If we take on an observer role, we are no longer in the active player role, and we automatically

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create some psychological distance.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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How do we create that distance?

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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There are many ways, but try the following:

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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1.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Just pause and become aware

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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2.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Zoom in on a negative or overwhelming thought or emotion

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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3.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Try to get a sense of how “close” you currently are.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Do you fully believe the story that you are telling yourself?

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Are you immersed in it?

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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4.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Add some distance.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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You could use language, for example, by saying, “My brain is having the thought that ... ” or,

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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“There is a feeling happening right now ... ” Additionally, instead of saying, “I’m

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a failure,” you gain distance by saying, “My brain is having the thought that I’m

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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a failure right now."

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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5.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Adding “today” or “right now” adds some temporal distance—i.e., you phrase

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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things so that the current phenomenon is understood to be temporary.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Instead of, “I’m struggling,” you can say, “I’m struggling at the moment."

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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This adds some distance because it implies there will be a time when this emotion or

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thought will stop.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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6.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Use visualization and imagine the thought or feeling as a picture, symbol, or even a

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little cartoon character.

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Maybe you see your anxiety as a literal brick wall that spells out the letters ANXIETY.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Or maybe you picture your critical inner voice as a nagging little insect that’s following

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you around, speaking in a squeaky voice.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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So, for Jamie, when he notices that he’s sinking into a depression again, he doesn’t

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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resist, nor does he sink down immediately with that feeling.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Instead, he tries to stand outside that feeling, adopting the perspective of someone who is

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watching the event unfold.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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“Oh, I can feel that my mood is dropping a little today."

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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Even saying “my mood” is dropping rather than “I” am feeling depressed creates

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a sense of distance.

Think of fusion and defusion in terms of distance:

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The depressed mood may still come, and it may be as strong as ever, only now Jamie is

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outside that storm rather than right at its center.

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Labeling

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When we are fused with a thought, it seeps into everything and feels exactly identical

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to reality.

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We may not know what we are experiencing, only that we are experiencing.

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However, when we put a label on something, we can immediately see that it is something

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that has a reality outside of us and that it is just a “thing."

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Have you ever noticed how thoughts and feelings seem so big and intimidating, and yet, once

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you share them verbally with someone else, they seem so much smaller somehow?

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This is the power of labeling at work.

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How to label:

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1.

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Simply describe what is happening.

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Slow down, become aware, and try to just describe what you’re perceiving—without judgment

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or evaluation.

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Consult your five senses and see what data they are sending you.

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Jamie may pause one afternoon and think, “I notice a light, fluttery feeling in my stomach.

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My jaw feels tight.

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I seem to be moving around very quickly.

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I can hear the sound of my own voice, and it’s higher pitched than normal.”

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2.

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Once you’ve done this, you may also find yourself describing actions and events, i.e.,

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how you are engaging with the stimuli around you.

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“My mind is noticing a fluttery feeling in my stomach.

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My mind is telling me a story about what that means.

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I notice I’m having a memory about this feeling from the past.

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I notice I’m thinking of my father ... ”

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If you have been practicing becoming aware in this way for some time, you might recognize

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old patterns and habits, and you may even be able to say things like, “I can see that

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I’m catastrophizing again,” or, “I am having a cognitive distortion."

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You might be surprised to find just how repetitive your most stressful and unpleasant thoughts

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really are, and that if you only pay attention, many times it’s exactly the same old thought

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popping up that you’ve had before.

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This can be an interesting realization—that you are not responding spontaneously to the

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situation in the present, but have merely been triggered by something, and you run off

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along the same mental track that you habitually do.

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It can be quite the insight to realize that how you’re feeling actually has nothing

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to do with the situation you thought it did, but is more accurately an old script from

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the past that’s playing out yet again.

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Leaves on a stream meditation

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Gaining psychological distance and giving labels to your experiences are things you

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do “in the heat of the moment."

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The following technique can be used in this way, too, but it’s also a great daily practice

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that will flex your defusion muscles and help you master the ability to step outside of

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your perspective when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

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You can do this any time.

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It’s simple to do.

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1.

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As with any mindfulness or meditative practice, sit somewhere comfortable where you won’t

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be disturbed, close your eyes, and spend a moment becoming aware of your breath.

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2.

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In your mind’s eye, picture that you are sitting beside a peaceful flowing stream in

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a lovely forest.

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If it’s easier, open your eyes and rest your gaze softly on some fixed point while

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you imagine this.

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3.

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Now, imagine that your mind is also like this stream, and it is flowing along with it.

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You will notice that as your mind flows, thoughts and feelings and perceptions pop up automatically.

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With a calm, detached attitude, have a look at each one as it appears.

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Now, pick up a leaf from the forest floor, imagine placing your thought on this leaf,

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and then float the leaf on the stream and watch as it carries the thought gently away,

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out of your sight.

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4.

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Another thought will pop up.

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It doesn’t matter if it’s a “good” thought or a “bad” one.

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It could be a thought, a feeling, or something neutral like, “I wonder if I’m doing the

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exercise right?"

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Look at these just the same and put each one on its own leaf and send it down the stream.

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Even if you think, “There are too many thoughts!

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Gah, I can’t keep up!” then guess what?

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That’s also a thought.

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Onto a leaf it goes ...

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5.

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The stream goes at its own fixed pace.

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Nothing speeds up or slows down.

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You are not trying to get rid of a thought, and you’re not holding on to it, wishing

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to keep it for a little longer.

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They just come and go at the pace of the river’s flow.

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6.

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Some thoughts might get “stuck,” or they may seem to pop up again and again.

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That’s okay.

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You might imagine that it swirls around a little on an eddy or gets snagged on the riverbank.

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Gently nudge it so it flows again.

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Watch as it goes until you can’t see it anymore.

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Give each thought its proper due and then let it go.

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7.

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You may occasionally get sidetracked and distracted by a thought and forget the exercise you’re

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doing.

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No matter!

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The moment you’re aware, come back to it.

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Even if you feel irritated or upset by the detour, place that on a leaf—no matter how

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big or small a feeling, it will fit comfortably on a leaf, and it will pass.

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Practice this exercise daily and you will be surprised at how you can change your own

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relationship to the thoughts that pop into your mind.

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Jamie does this for a few weeks and finds that he is less reactive, less “up and down."

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One day, he notices that something that ordinarily would have triggered him just seems to sit

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there, and he watches it, non-reactive.

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He thinks, “Oh, there’s that trigger again.

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I guess I could follow it and go all along that same old path as I always do.

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But I think instead I’ll just watch it.

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It will go before too long."

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