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Published on:

8th Aug 2025

Bridging Science and Spirit: Dr. Cochran on Therapy and Healing

The Interplay of Mind and Body with Dr. Margaret Cochran: Overcoming Fear and Inflammation

Dr. Margaret Cochran is a licensed clinical social worker, life coach, hypnotherapist, educator, social media personality, and author with over 25 years of experience in helping individuals achieve their personal and professional goals.


Throughout her career, Dr. Cochran has been featured in numerous media outlets nationwide, and she regularly contributes to the Huffington Post, appears on NBC Sacramento’s morning show, and has hosted radio programs such as “Wisdom, Love and Magic” and “A Mental Health Moment.”


Dr. Cochran is a transpersonal psychologist, licensed clinical social worker, life coach, hypnotherapist, educator, social media personality and author with more than 25 years of clinical experience. A seasoned professional dedicated to the health and well-being of all her patients, Dr. Cochran takes a whole person approach to mental health and wellness. She seamlessly interweaves traditional ego psychology, transpersonal psychology and energy psychology affording her patients every tool possible to achieve their goals and make their dreams a reality.


Dr. Cochran has been featured in a range of media outlets throughout the country including BBC, ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX affiliates, CBS Radio, Healthline, Yahoo Life, Total Beauty, Media News Group, Mercury News, and many additional outlets. In addition to the Huffington Post, she has also been featured regularly on NBC Sacramento’s morning show and hosted radio programs such as, “Wisdom, Love and Magic” and “A Mental Health Moment.”


In this insightful episode, Dr. Margaret Cochran, also known as 'the relationship doctor,' delves into the intricate connection between the mind and body. She explains how fear and inflammation work hand in hand to affect our health and shares powerful methods to mitigate these effects. Dr. Cochran discusses her unique background in clinical social work, psychology, metaphysics, and wildlife rehabilitation, offering fascinating stories and practical advice. Learn about energy psychology, hypnotherapy, and the transformative power of gratitude. Discover how to challenge 'shoulds,' cultivate empathy, and rewire your brain for resilience.


00:00 Understanding the Root Causes of Sickness

00:46 Introduction to Dr. Margaret Cochran

01:38 Wildlife Rehabilitation Adventures

03:34 Exploring Metaphysics and Transpersonal Psychology

10:12 Near-Death Experiences and Their Impact

19:31 Energy Psychology and Healing Techniques

26:49 Quantum Entanglement Explained

27:08 The Interconnectedness of Humanity

27:44 Metaphysics and Hypnotherapy

29:35 The Power of Hypnosis

32:42 Understanding the Brain's Role

41:00 The Impact of Language on Behavior

44:05 Teaching Compassion and Empathy

48:01 Books and Final Thoughts


In this insightful episode featuring **Dr. Margaret Cochran**, a **relationship doctor** with a unique background in **wildlife rehabilitation**, we explore the profound **mind-body connection**. Dr. Cochran delves into how **fear** and **inflammation** are deeply intertwined, affecting our **holistic health** and **wellness**. She discusses practical ways to achieve **resilience** and personal growth by utilizing techniques from **transpersonal psychology**, **energy psychology**, and **hypnotherapy**. The conversation highlights the importance of **gratitude**, **empathy**, and **compassion** as powerful tools for rewiring the brain.


The discussion also touches upon deeper metaphysical concepts, such as **quantum entanglement** and the **interconnectedness of humanity**, and how they relate to healing and personal transformation. By understanding the brain's role and challenging limiting beliefs, listeners are equipped to overcome fear, mitigate stress, and foster a stronger sense of **emotional well-being**. Dr. Cochran's expertise offers a comprehensive approach to self-help, blending clinical social work principles with a broader spiritual perspective to help individuals achieve lasting **personal growth**.

Transcript
Speaker:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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there are two things

that make the body sick.

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One is inflammation and the other is fear.

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And fear frequently

precipitates inflammation.

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And inflammation frequently

makes fear worse.

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So they work together hand in hand.

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when you're uncertain.

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Ask yourself, what would

I do if I weren't afraid?

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And then you'll know exactly what to do.

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The important things for me and that I

teach people are one, have a gratitude

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practice every single day, twice a day.

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Go through what you're grateful for.

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And it doesn't necessarily

have to be anything huge.

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It can be your favorite

purple dinosaur socks.

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Russell Newton: Hello listeners and

welcome back Our guest today is Dr.

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Margaret Cochran and Dr.

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Cochran, please introduce yourself.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Well, professionally, I'm Dr.

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Margaret Cochran, AKA, the relationship

doctor across social media.

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have degrees in experience in clinical

social work, clinical psychology, clinical

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hypnosis, metaphysics law, traditional

psychology, transpersonal psychology, and

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wildlife, rehabilitation of all things.

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I've always

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Russell Newton: Hi.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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in medicine with physicians, so that

world is very comfortable to me and

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my professional biases that you cannot

affect the body without affecting

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the mind, and you cannot affect the

mind without affecting the body.

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Russell Newton: And that

wraps it up for us today.

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There's nothing there to talk about.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Just rattle that all off.

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Yeah.

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Russell Newton: Wow.

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I should have asked for that ahead of

time so that I could, break those down.

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Let's, let's start with,

wildlife rehabilitation.

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Was that, what was that?

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Yeah, wildlife rehabilitation.

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when I lived in the Midwest, I lived

in a very rural community and, there

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were, you get a lot of, road kill

and road injury kind of situations.

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And so, some of us were, allowed

to by the Department of Wildlife,

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take in the animals and help

rehab them and help them get well.

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So I've raised skunks and

possums and foxes and snakes.

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I've done a few raptor, birds,

allegedly cats, of course puppies.

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probably some other ones I haven't thought

of, but I think skunks are my favorite.

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Russell Newton: Really.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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They are adorable.

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They're so cute.

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And they're, they are an imprint species,

so if you take care of them, you're

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their mom as far as they're concerned.

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So for a while I had all these little

tiny skunks following me everywhere

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I went for fortunately, scent

glands don't come in until a little

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later, so that's not too dangerous.

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Russell Newton: was the next question.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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sweet animals.

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And actually, they can

be box trains like cats.

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Russell Newton: Fascinating.

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wow, that's a, you know, it it, I grew

up in the Midwest, south side of Chicago.

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So we had our, had some skunks around, you

know, and basically you would notice 'em

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till there were road kill, and that's when

they would, make their presence known.

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but I guess they don't,

they're not in Georgia.

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Do you have them in California?

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This has nothing to do with

the podcast really, but it's,

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Yes

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Russell Newton: they live in California?

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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We

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Russell Newton: Okay.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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in California.

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Yeah.

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and you know what?

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I went to Lake Forest High School,

which is very close to where you lived.

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Russell Newton: so we have some

similarities in our background,

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skunk wise, skunk wise.

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That's interesting.

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Yeah.

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I'm, I'm tempted may to ask you to

run through that list again, but

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we'll, we will hit on some, several

of those things as we go along.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Okay?

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Russell Newton: there was

a, there was a metaphysics.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Mm-hmm.

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Russell Newton: tell us what that

is For someone not knowledgeable

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about meta metaphysics.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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There are not degrees available in it.

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So, metaphysics was self-study

for me, I happen to be a big

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fan of traditional physics.

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what most people don't realize is

in the world of traditional physics,

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they're always exploring the beyond

the, the great question, the unknown,

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the whatever that is out there.

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Some people call it god, you

know, the great mystery, whatever.

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And so physics often collides

with metaphysics and metaphysics.

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Meta meaning larger is the idea

that, yeah, there's something big

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out there and we don't quite get it.

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And, and what we study in metaphysics

is the manifestation of those things.

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Like, for example, someone who has lost

a loved one and all of a sudden they show

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up at the end of their bed one night.

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I've, I've worked with, I

worked with a lovely, woman

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who, whose daughter had been.

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diagnosed, with diabetes.

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Her blood sugar came in at

like 400, which is really bad.

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And so she was supposed to

see her physician the next day

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to start her insulin and all.

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And she went to bed that night and at

the foot of her bed, something pulled

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on her great toe and she woke up and

she looked up and it was her uncle.

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And she said, uncle John.

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He said, yes.

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He said, don't worry, it's all a mistake.

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Everything will be fine.

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And then she said, but you're dead.

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said, I know honey, I love you.

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And then he just faded away.

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she woke up her husband and said,

oh my god, uncle John just came

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to me and what am I gonna do?

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And da, da da da.

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And he said, you know, you've lost it.

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You have gone around the bend.

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No, there's no such thing

as that kind of stuff.

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You need to go talk to somebody.

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So her doctor referred her to me and

the next day, and it was an emergency.

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So I saw her and she said,

do you think I'm crazy?

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I said, no.

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She said, well, what do

you think I should do?

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well, I don't do shoulds, but my

advice would be, repeat the blood test.

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What have you got to lose?

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So they did.

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And it was in fact a lab error.

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If they had gone based on those labs, they

might have seriously injured, killed her.

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So that's an example of it also intersects

with transpersonal psychology as well.

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Russell Newton: So the story you have

with the, with the girl and the her uncle,

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what actually is that?

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can you explain it for someone

that doesn't, that's never

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had any exposure to that.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Well, I'll tell you something.

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One of the tricky parts about

this field that there's no

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linear measurement available.

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There's, there's no linear, application

I can use to say this is what

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transpired and what we, what we rely

on in this part of science is felt

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experience felt experience was, which

is interestingly something I needed to

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defend in my dissertation when I, when

I did that, which is a load of fun.

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If any of you're thinking you a PhD,

ACEs, you'll really bring cookies.

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That's my advice felt experience, you

know, I was challenged on that and

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I said, well, I, I asked the person

during the challenge, I said, have you

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ever loved someone or loathed someone?

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well, yeah.

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I said, well, pick one.

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And they said, well, my

grandma, I love my grandma.

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I said, oh, that's nice.

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Prove it.

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He said, well, I see her every

Sunday and I eat her bad apple

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pie, and I don't tell her it's bad.

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And, you know, I, I send

her cards and stuff.

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I get her Christmas presents.

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I said, yeah, could be a liar.

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could be someone out for her money.

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You could just be adhering

to a social construct.

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You haven't proved anything and you can't.

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Which is I guess why they

gave me the PhD, huh?

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'cause I got that answer

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Russell Newton: Must have worked.

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That's right.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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but the point was that, for, for her

experience, she saw, felt and could

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hear this person, whether that was

a projection of her unconscious,

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there's no way for us to say for sure.

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however, her, I don't, and usually in

those experiences, only the person having

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the experience can see what they see.

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Sometimes it's a smell,

sometimes it's just like a

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presence, a sense of a presence.

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it can be animals, it can be people.

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Sometimes there's a message, I've

been waiting for some to show up and

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say, oh, the money's in the basement.

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Go down there, dig here.

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You know, but so far

nobody's shown up like that.

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But, people have, and, and, but

sometimes I will also say this, there

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are experiences where groups of people

have, encountered something unseen

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or unmeasurable by, by linear terms.

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I had a case where.

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And there was a, a family and they

lived in the south and they had this

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beautiful restored antebellum mansion.

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I mean, they really worked hard on it.

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And so the oldest daughter went

away to college and she brought

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this guy home for Thanksgiving.

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nobody really liked him very

much, but you know how that goes.

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Anyway, so they had a ghost in their

house and the ghost would make itself

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known by, you know, moving things around

and swinging chandeliers sometimes.

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But they just accepted it

kind of as a family member.

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this guy comes in and

they're sitting at the table.

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And so one of the other siblings said,

oh, did you tell him about our ghost?

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And the guy says, the new boyfriend

says there's no such thing as ghost.

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That's ridiculous.

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Oh, that was not the right thing to say.

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The chandeliers started to

swing, dishes fell off the table.

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He literally ran out of the house.

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And would never talk to her again.

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That was the end of that relationship.

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So, that was the situation where a

lot of people had that experience.

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Russell Newton: I, I don't know

that I've spoke with anybody

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firsthand that has that kind of

experience, and I find that really.

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Yeah, incredibly interesting.

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you, you said, again, talking

about the, the girl, it, it

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could have been a manifestation

of her subconscious, something

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Good.

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Russell Newton: within her mind,

but so on one side, if that is the

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case, that doesn't mean it's not, it

didn't happen in her, if it happened

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in her head, it still happened.

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Right?

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I mean, it, she still got information

from her uncle that was beyond the,

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information she'd been exposed to.

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So there's still something there.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Oh yeah.

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And I've worked with a, a lot of people

who have had near death experiences and

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you know, what that was like and what they

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Russell Newton: right.

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Yeah.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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and again, we don't have linear

measurement for that other than I can

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tell you to a person of the hundreds of

pers people that I've worked with that

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have had those kind of experiences,

they don't come back the same.

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So there's a linear measurement for you.

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They do not come back the same

person they were when they died.

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It's a very, very powerful

thing and a wonderfully life

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affirming thing at the same time.

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Russell Newton: Really,

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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Mm-hmm.

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Yeah.

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Russell Newton: can you share

a, can you, can you share a

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specific example or a story there?

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Is that appropriate?

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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absolutely.

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I'll change the details.

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So, you know,

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Russell Newton: Of course.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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people's confidence.

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there was, a gentleman who was having

a quadruple bypass coronary surgery,

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which is a big surgery do that.

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And they have to take veins from your

legs and put it, you know, all that stuff.

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So it's a big complex surgery.

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And he was not a very nice man.

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He was not good to his wife and daughters

and, his hobby was cock fighting.

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he was

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Russell Newton: Hmm.

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I.

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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not a very nice man anyway, just having

this surgery and God bless him, be codes

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right there on the table, just shuts down.

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They did everything.

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They resus, they tried everything to

resuscitate him and nothing worked.

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So they worked on him.

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I know about minutes, half

hour flat line, nothing.

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So they put him on a gurney and

they were gonna take him out.

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because obviously they had to

tell the family and all that.

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Damned if he didn't sit up, sat right

up on that gurney, just sat right up.

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And the surgeon who, who is a

colleague of mine I've known for many

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years, he's been a surgeon for many.

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He had to change his scrubs.

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I mean, it freaked him out.

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'cause he said that guy was dead.

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He had no brain activity, no heartbeat.

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He was cold.

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He was, he was turning gray.

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So anyway, they put him back in

the table, they hook him back up.

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They finish the surgery

normally after a surgery.

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I do hypnotic anesthesia in

the operating room, by the way.

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So I'm pretty familiar with how they work.

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So, usually after a case like

that, the anesthesiologist stays

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with the patient to make sure

they come up out of the chemicals.

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And this guy had had two sets.

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Of anesthesia.

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'cause they had to put

him back under again.

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So we had a lot of stuff in him.

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So it took a good long while

for him to come out of it.

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But he kept saying,

Lily, Lily is the baby.

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Okay.

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And this, this time the

anesthesiologist didn't stay.

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The surgeon stayed 'cause

he was so freaked out.

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So he kept saying, there's no baby, sir.

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You just had a surgery.

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Wake up.

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He kept trying to give him.

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So finally he comes to, and the

surgeon says, what happened?

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And he said, well, first can,

can we check on the baby?

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He said, what baby?

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There's no baby.

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He said, what happened?

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He said, well, I came up outta

my body and I was floating on the

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ceiling and I was watching all the

things that you were doing to me.

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then I started to float away and I

saw this big ball of light and I felt

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I had to go to the big ball of light.

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So the man began to describe the hospital

he was floating through different sections

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of the, that he'd never seen before.

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And one of them was labor and delivery.

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And he described watching this woman

laboring and he saw a little ball of

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light come out of the woman he thought,

oh, the little ball of light's gonna

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come with me and go to the big ball.

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And then the mom said,

Lily, Lily, don't leave me.

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And the little ball of light

went back down to the mom.

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So then off he goes to the

big ball of light, and when he

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gets there, there's his voice.

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And it's not a male voice,

it's not a female voice.

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It just says, so what did you do with it?

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I hear that phrase a lot

in these various cases.

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And basically he went through his life

like a movie saw every minute of every

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day of every year he'd ever lived.

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And he not only felt it from his

own perspective, he felt it from

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this perspective of the other

people he was interacting with.

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Imagine that.

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So, it wasn't a very fun

movie for him to go through.

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And then at the end, voice

said, okay, you need to go back.

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more work for you to do.

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He said, oh, please, let me stay with you.

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He's, he talked about describing such love

and warmth and he didn't wanna leave, but

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the voice says, no, you gotta go back.

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So the next thing he knew, he was

slammed back in his body in a lot

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of pain, feeling pretty terrible.

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he says to the surgeon again,

would you please just go check?

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So he goes, and he calls

up labor and delivery.

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He says, hi, this is Dr.

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So-and-so, I know you're,

this sounds crazy, but had any

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deliveries in the last few hours?

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Oh yes.

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Just one.

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it was touch and go, but baby Lily's.

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Okay,

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so then the guy says, can we send flowers?

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Now, this is not the guy.

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Yeah, is not how he was.

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So the, when he came back for his

follow up, he was really struggling to

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reorient himself back into his life.

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And he said to the surgeon, you

know, I, I, I don't know what to do.

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I don't know, I don't know

how, I don't know what to do.

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So the surgeon says, well, I know

this lady, you can go talk to her

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and chill, help you figure it out.

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So he came to talk to me and

he said, you know, I, I don't

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know, doc, you gotta fix me.

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'cause I, I cry at

toilet paper commercials.

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Now I, all I wanna do is

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Russell Newton: Is that unusual?

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Dr. Margaret Cochran:

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well, he said, I, I, I, all I wanna

do is hug my wife and daughter

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and, and the people I used to spend

time with, they're not nice people.

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I, I don't wanna spend

time with them anymore.

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He said, you gotta put me back.

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You gotta put me back.

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I said, you know, if you wanna go

back to being a narcissistic jerk,

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you know how to do that on your own.

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you wanna learn how to be the guy

you are, now that I can help you.

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So he did, he stayed and did some

work with me, and now he's a,

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he's a construction guy, so he has

his huge hands, like huge hands.

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He, volunteers at inner city hospitals

and he massages crack babies.

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His little babies born addicted,

and he holds them in his big hands.

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And the nurses love him 'cause when he

walks in the room, everything quiets down.

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The

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Russell Newton: A presence?

369

:

Yeah.

370

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

371

:

Everybody's calm.

372

:

People just love to be in his presence.

373

:

There's this beautiful light about

him and he'll, he'll talk to the

374

:

babies and say it's gonna be okay.

375

:

I know, I know it's hard,

but you're gonna feel better.

376

:

They're gonna help you feel better.

377

:

And he, they've got this big

rocker the babies that are

378

:

allowed out of the incubators.

379

:

He rocks them and sings little

songs and beautiful guy.

380

:

Russell Newton: Thank

you for sharing that.

381

:

That's, an, an incredible story.

382

:

And this is not one that you've

heard fourth and fifth hand.

383

:

This is one, you know, the doctor,

you dealt with the man personally.

384

:

You know the story.

385

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

386

:

Yep.

387

:

Russell Newton: for, this is

firsthand knowledge for our listeners.

388

:

I don't quite cry at toilet paper

commercials, but it, it's close.

389

:

when you, when you mention the, the little

light leaving and then turning around and

390

:

going back, you, you almost had me there.

391

:

I admit, I, I sometimes can be, on

the, on the edge of those things.

392

:

And what a great story.

393

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

394

:

What a great man.

395

:

Russell Newton: it, it, it reminded

me in the opposite direction of the

396

:

story, not a story, but the, the case

of, is it Henry Gage or Thomas Gage,

397

:

the man who lost a big portion of his

brain due to an industrial accident.

398

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

399

:

Mm-hmm.

400

:

Russell Newton: His personality

changed for the better.

401

:

He became much, and for obvious

reasons, there was a large portion

402

:

of his brain had been destroyed.

403

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

404

:

Yes,

405

:

Russell Newton: but this

man came back different.

406

:

So that leads us maybe more to what

our listeners have tuned in for.

407

:

I hope they find this of

interest because I could talk

408

:

about these things for a while.

409

:

Maybe I should start up a

different podcast as well.

410

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

411

:

that'd

412

:

Russell Newton: but you said

you met with this, it would be,

413

:

you met with this individual.

414

:

so if we could take this specific

case and maybe broaden it.

415

:

And he was having difficulty with the

situation that he'd found himself in,

416

:

and you said, you worked with him.

417

:

Now you worked with him, includes.

418

:

A lot of things, and I know you, you

have a lot of therapy techniques, in

419

:

your toolbox, I'm sure, from all your

studies and all the work you've done.

420

:

But, and your website, we'll

plug this a little bit.

421

:

You have a lot of things there for

that people can find, resources and

422

:

contact you for information and, and,

psychological, psychological services.

423

:

Can I say that, that

applies to what I see there?

424

:

so when you work with this person or

when you work with someone, just give,

425

:

can you tell us a little bit about your

school of thought for therapy, what

426

:

your primary approach is, and what a

person might expect if they were going

427

:

into therapy with you or with another

psychotherapist or, or counselor.

428

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

429

:

Well, I don't know if

I can speak for others.

430

:

I'm a little

431

:

Russell Newton: Not broadly, right.

432

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

433

:

as the saying goes outstanding

in my field, right.

434

:

I'm a little different.

435

:

but one of the, the main things I ask

people about is what are you afraid of?

436

:

Because there are two things

that make the body sick.

437

:

One is inflammation and the other is fear.

438

:

And fear frequently

precipitates inflammation.

439

:

And inflammation frequently

makes fear worse.

440

:

So they work together hand in hand.

441

:

So I do energy psychology with

people to reduce inflammation.

442

:

And then, I will just ask him,

tell me like, like this man.

443

:

I said, what, what are you afraid of?

444

:

And so immediately he, it, it, it, it

gave him a door to walk through to say,

445

:

I'm afraid, I dunno how to be myself.

446

:

I, I'm afraid I don't

know who I am, afraid.

447

:

I don't know how to love.

448

:

I mean, those were not things

he knew how to explore before.

449

:

Absolutely never think to.

450

:

But once we laid out all those

fears, I'd say, okay, pick one.

451

:

Where do you wanna start?

452

:

And then he would choose whatever he

wanted to do and we'd go down that road.

453

:

For the

454

:

Russell Newton: What you

mentioned, and I go ahead.

455

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

456

:

I'm sorry.

457

:

For the most part, people are

troubled about relationship, which

458

:

is why I'm the relationship doctor.

459

:

It's either relationship with yourself

or relationship with others, but they're

460

:

both vitally important in your life.

461

:

Russell Newton: Right.

462

:

You mentioned just in that last

section, energy psychology, which,

463

:

I admit I am not familiar with.

464

:

Can you give us some background

on the phrase in, in the

465

:

study of energy psychology

466

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

467

:

Sure.

468

:

in allopathic medicine, which

is what we practiced in the

469

:

West, we've been really snobby.

470

:

We've kind of

471

:

Russell Newton: in the western, in,

I'm sorry, for our listeners in the

472

:

West as a, as opposed to Eastern

medicine, Ayurvedic, whatever those

473

:

things might be, but in Western

medicine, not in the west of California.

474

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

475

:

that's correct.

476

:

Yes.

477

:

Western.

478

:

Thank you for that clarification.

479

:

Yes.

480

:

In Western medicine, in general, it's

called allopathic medicine and we've,

481

:

we've had our head up our butts a

little bit and been kind of snobby and

482

:

said, yeah, you know, any indigenous

practices, that's a lot of nonsense.

483

:

Well, guess what?

484

:

We did, we did some more

research and found out that we

485

:

were cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

486

:

That's not how it works.

487

:

There are subtle meridians in

the body that you can access with

488

:

various techniques like acupuncture,

acupuncture, emotional freedom

489

:

technique, and various other things.

490

:

The havening technique, 4, 7, 8,

breathing all different kinds of ways

491

:

to, to, access those energies and

bring down your stress levels, your

492

:

cortisol, which is your stress hormone.

493

:

adrenaline, people who have high levels

of adrenaline, their body wrecks, their

494

:

blood pressure, their gastrointestinal

system, and it's really bad.

495

:

Please listen to this.

496

:

It's really bad for your brain and

that's why sleep is so important.

497

:

'cause that's when we do our housekeeping

up there and, and we gotta, we gotta get

498

:

all out as much nasty as we possibly can.

499

:

It's also though.

500

:

Else is cool about sleep.

501

:

Can you tell?

502

:

I love brains.

503

:

I'm a serious brain person.

504

:

Russell Newton: That's fantastic.

505

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

506

:

the other thing that's so cool about

is you've probably had this experience

507

:

at some time in your life where you had

a problem and you just, you worked on

508

:

it, worked on it, couldn't figure it

out, and finally said, oh, forget it.

509

:

I'll just take a nap.

510

:

Or I'll just go to bed and you

wake up and I know just what to do.

511

:

And so not only is your brain

cleaning itself, it's also allowing

512

:

novel connections to be made

neuronally so you can wake up and

513

:

Oh, I see how the pieces fit now.

514

:

And then problem solved.

515

:

And many

516

:

Russell Newton: Or the

517

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

518

:

in science and in literature have talked

about they went to sleep and woke up

519

:

and wrote a book or woke up and figured

out how this or that formula worked.

520

:

Russell Newton: so many songwriters,

will say that, or, Our author,

521

:

Peter Hollands re refers in his

books on occasion to the shower aha.

522

:

Moment, where you're engaged in a, maybe

a mindless activity, but a beneficial

523

:

activity, and then something you would

been focused on earlier and couldn't

524

:

find a solution for will suddenly click.

525

:

That's what you're referring to, or two,

526

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

527

:

it is.

528

:

And

529

:

Russell Newton: and to some extent

now you're talking about sleep, which

530

:

is different, more involved, but

531

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

532

:

well, the, the brainwaves change in sleep,

is a little different from the shower.

533

:

Russell Newton: Right.

534

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

535

:

some slight variation there, but

not the dramatic variation that

536

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

537

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

538

:

But the thing that's interesting

about what you said is we

539

:

tend to think of ourselves as

exclusively our prefrontal cortex.

540

:

That's the part right

here behind your forehead.

541

:

That's our, where our executive

functioning happens, our logic,

542

:

our reason, all that jazz.

543

:

And we tend to think of our,

that's, that's our brain.

544

:

That's how we think.

545

:

There's a whole other world in there.

546

:

A whole other world.

547

:

And when you occupy the prefrontal

cortex with a shower or maybe some

548

:

mindless activity, all of a sudden

you access that whole other world.

549

:

And a lot of creativity can come

from that and a lot of fun too.

550

:

Russell Newton: would you say, is

this tied into the flow state as well?

551

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

552

:

Absolutely.

553

:

Flo I'm again, I'm glad

you brought that up.

554

:

Flo is, is, well, okay.

555

:

Here's an example.

556

:

I, work, as you know, with animals.

557

:

I also work with emotional

support animals in my practice.

558

:

I, I've worked with them for many

years and patients come to me, they

559

:

have anxiety, depression or whatever,

and they need a letter to justify

560

:

having an emotional support animal.

561

:

Okay.

562

:

Well, I recently wrote one for

an emotional support sneak.

563

:

And this particular young man,

his parent has died of cancer.

564

:

he was going off away from

home for the first time.

565

:

He just had a really bad time with

some self-destructive stuff, you know.

566

:

So got him on an even keel and I

wrote the letter to the school,

567

:

and fortunately they said yes.

568

:

So, that was, UCSC slug strong.

569

:

That's their, mascot is the banana slug.

570

:

So in

571

:

Russell Newton: A slug, like a snail,

like a, a snail without a shell slug.

572

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

573

:

in their mental health,

department, they call it slug

574

:

strong, you know, we're gonna.

575

:

Do well So, she, she got that and not

48 hours later I got an email from,

576

:

a, an organization that does education

work for the American Bar Association,

577

:

asking me to do a presentation on you

guested, emotional support animals.

578

:

That's how flow works.

579

:

When you get into that space

and you open yourself to that

580

:

energy, it just comes to you,

581

:

Russell Newton: Do you, is, so are

you saying there's a connection

582

:

between your flow state and others?

583

:

That, that got you?

584

:

a request for more information

is, are those connected somehow?

585

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

586

:

we're all connected.

587

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

588

:

Okay.

589

:

This is metaphysics again.

590

:

Yeah.

591

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

592

:

Yeah.

593

:

but physics, as we catch up with physics,

594

:

Russell Newton: Yeah.

595

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

596

:

beginning to support that.

597

:

The math is beginning to say, oh, yeah.

598

:

There's not a whole lot of

separation between things.

599

:

And, you

600

:

Russell Newton: Wow.

601

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

602

:

favorite example of that, quantum

entanglement and people who say to

603

:

me, I don't get quantum entanglement.

604

:

I say, do you have a garden hose?

605

:

That's, that's all you need to see

because you can put it anywhere and

606

:

you'll come back and it's in a knot,

607

:

Russell Newton: Come back

with a wrinkle in it.

608

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

609

:

or, or you have jewelry, put it

anywhere and you'll come back.

610

:

And it's, that's quantum

entanglement for you.

611

:

But it's also about how we are entangled

in the quantum, how we are connected.

612

:

And that's why when we make

artificial delineations based

613

:

on skin or religion or where you

614

:

Russell Newton: Hmm.

615

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

616

:

born, it's a lie.

617

:

It's a horrible lie.

618

:

We are all one.

619

:

And when any one of us'

hurt, we are all injured.

620

:

And when any one of us is made

better, we are all healed.

621

:

Russell Newton: That just

leaves me, kind of speechless.

622

:

That's, that's very powerful.

623

:

Thank you for that.

624

:

we're, we're kind of on the bubble

here, still on the edge of, and,

625

:

and I hedge a few of my statements

because I try to present what I feel

626

:

is the viewpoint of our listeners.

627

:

There're gonna be a lot of listeners

out there who would've been

628

:

like me when they were in their

twenties and thirties that said.

629

:

You know, metaphysics, you know,

it's a bunch of, spiritualism

630

:

or that kind of thing.

631

:

I, I don't feel that way any longer.

632

:

There's, I feel, there's obviously many

things there that I've written off earlier

633

:

that, I've probably shorted myself because

I didn't learn about 'em at the time,

634

:

and really in my mind still, I'm not

gonna say that in my mind for a while

635

:

would've been hypnosis and hypnotherapy.

636

:

but these seem very

closely, maybe they're not.

637

:

Are they closely related, the, the

concept of hypnotherapy and some of

638

:

the work that we're doing and, and

we, as we talk about metaphysics or

639

:

is it, just not along those lines.

640

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

641

:

Well, you know what it is,

it's really about our, our

642

:

brain is back to brains again.

643

:

Our brain is a, is a giant, switchboard

644

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

645

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

646

:

it allows the body to

function the way it does.

647

:

And it is very closely

connected to circuits in the gut

648

:

Russell Newton: Right,

649

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

650

:

the heart.

651

:

And there is constant interplay

and conversation between

652

:

those parts of ourselves.

653

:

And so, we can have injury.

654

:

for example, if you have a a,

a big surgery, often people

655

:

are very depressed after that.

656

:

or, or you'll have a baby and,

and you have postpartum, right?

657

:

So you're,

658

:

Russell Newton: right.

659

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

660

:

experience, affects everything

that goes on about the way you

661

:

think and feel and react to things.

662

:

It's really important to know that.

663

:

So if you, you, you can use hypnosis

to help regulate some of those things.

664

:

And, well, like, you

know, I, I do hypnosis.

665

:

I control your blood pressure,

your breathing, your sense of

666

:

pain, all that kind of stuff.

667

:

And in fact, I was doing, I was

doing a surgery and this guy, he

668

:

was a police officer and someone

had, ugh, shot off his kneecap.

669

:

was awful.

670

:

So we were, we were doing a pat

ectomy and putting in a new joint.

671

:

So I'm like keeping him.

672

:

I am and we, and we always have a

chemical anesthesia anesthesiologist on

673

:

standby in case there's an emergency.

674

:

So anyway, I'm talking to the guy in

his ear, I'm saying, oh yeah, everyone's

675

:

laughing because you're doing so well.

676

:

And they're telling jokes 'cause the

surgery's going well, and your body's so

677

:

relaxed, you're already started healing.

678

:

It's already beginning.

679

:

New cells are formed.

680

:

I'm doing all my thing.

681

:

Right?

682

:

All of a sudden the surgeon says, stop.

683

:

Okay.

684

:

thought, God, what have I done?

685

:

He said, I, I said, is

everything okay down there?

686

:

of course I have a drape up here.

687

:

I don't see him.

688

:

says, getting very relaxed and I just

needed you to stop for a minute refocus.

689

:

And yeah, many people will say,

well, you know, I'm not hypnotizable

690

:

or I'm, I've never been hypnotized.

691

:

But in fact, I guarantee you, you have.

692

:

And here's a common example.

693

:

Have you ever been in the car?

694

:

And it's rainy a little bit and

the windshield wipers are on.

695

:

And they're going back and forth and

back and forth, and all of a sudden

696

:

it's your destination and you don't

really remember how you got there.

697

:

That's a level one trance.

698

:

Now, of course, obviously there are

deeper trances if I'm gonna control

699

:

your perception of pain, right?

700

:

That's not a level one trance, but,

everyone has been in that, or, or maybe

701

:

you've had a time when you just found

yourself staring and just kinda shut down.

702

:

That's, that's a little

trance right there.

703

:

So if you yourself in trance,

you can remember things.

704

:

you can also, help you relax and

change the way you respond to an

705

:

injury or a trauma, when you come

to full waking consciousness again.

706

:

I mean, there's all kinds of things

that you can do with it if it's

707

:

done well in the right hands.

708

:

Russell Newton: So, you know, you

say a, a level one trance or which

709

:

we've experienced and haven't, maybe

haven't recognized, but probably

710

:

everyone has had that occur.

711

:

Like I said, it's a great example

with the, the windshield wipers.

712

:

When I was taking driver's ed way back

when, they called it highway hypnosis.

713

:

I dunno if that's still the same term,

but when you're driving for many miles,

714

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

715

:

Yep.

716

:

Russell Newton: it, it is easy to, To

come out of full alertness, but really

717

:

what you're referring to is not so much

that because what are you, are you letting

718

:

your prefrontal cortex just take control

of the obvious mechanics of keeping the

719

:

car in the lane and then the rest of your

brain or other parts of your brain are

720

:

able to take over what's happening there?

721

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

722

:

actually, once you're hypothalamus,

you're kind of, it's muscle memory.

723

:

You're just driving with muscle memory.

724

:

And you have, and one of the things

I talk about when I use hypnosis with

725

:

people is you can come to full waking

consciousness anytime you want to.

726

:

So you don't need to be concerned

wherever we're going that

727

:

you're gonna be stuck there.

728

:

'cause a lot of people are

scared, well, if there's a

729

:

fire, what if something happens?

730

:

You know?

731

:

And I reassure them, Nope, you come to

full waking consciousness like that.

732

:

Don't worry about it.

733

:

right now though, maybe you'd just like

to listen to my voice and follow along

734

:

and we'll take a journey together.

735

:

Russell Newton: I, I'm

fascinated by, someone going into

736

:

surgery through this process.

737

:

Can you, can you go through a case?

738

:

Just, just how do you prepare,

what do your, how does it work?

739

:

Is that.

740

:

That's a really broad question,

but there's too many there to,

741

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

742

:

It's a

743

:

Russell Newton: to itemize.

744

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

745

:

Well, usually what I do is it, sometimes

I'll do it, for childbirth, for example.

746

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

747

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

748

:

I would have the mom come in, oh for a few

weeks beforehand, get her used to trance

749

:

what it feels like, what it sounds like.

750

:

and I will often give

her anchoring signals.

751

:

Like for example, I will tell her when

I squeeze your hand, you'll feel the

752

:

deepest relaxation you've ever felt.

753

:

Your muscles will relaxed and

your body will feel amazing

754

:

like you're floating on a cloud.

755

:

So when she is starting to feel a

lot of pain, I'll husband gear that

756

:

signal and she can, know, relax again.

757

:

So like that

758

:

Russell Newton: I,

759

:

Tell us where you would have a person

practice self anchoring, if that's

760

:

something you're, you, you've described

or prescribed for other people.

761

:

What it does when you

would use it, what it is.

762

:

Just for those of our listeners that

might not be familiar with anchoring

763

:

of, of, you know, the, the personal

concept of anchoring like that.

764

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

765

:

Well, one of the things, is, let's

take, let's take someone who has

766

:

been doing, compulsive eating.

767

:

Russell Newton: Great.

768

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

769

:

And unfortunately in my profession,

we do not see that as a disorder.

770

:

Russell Newton: It's just a weakness.

771

:

I can't control my appetite.

772

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

773

:

But it's no different

than any other addiction.

774

:

Russell Newton: Right,

775

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

776

:

exactly the same.

777

:

So, I, I would take that person and,

and help them, encourage them to develop

778

:

a little anchor about, okay, so when

I have the urge to eat, not that I'm

779

:

hungry, but I just have the urge to

eat that I'll, my thumb and forefinger

780

:

together and just sit and sit sit sit.

781

:

then you do that for a period of time,

usually I'll, I'll set, you know, like,

782

:

to two minutes, something like that.

783

:

you still want to eat because

you're hungry, go eat.

784

:

But in most cases, they're not hungry.

785

:

And

786

:

Russell Newton: right.

787

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

788

:

anchor them.

789

:

Huh?

790

:

Okay, I can relax because a lot of

compulsive behavior, whether it's

791

:

addiction to, porn for example,

or, alcohol or other substances,

792

:

there's not only the physical piece,

but there's also, our hypothalamus

793

:

is, you can't live without this.

794

:

You are going to die.

795

:

If you don't eat right

now, you are going to die.

796

:

If you don't, go masturbate right now.

797

:

You are going to die if you don't do

whatever it is, which isn't true, that

798

:

part of your brain is, is an older part

of your brain and so efficient that

799

:

it can bypass the prefrontal cortex.

800

:

So, no, no thinking is going on.

801

:

Russell Newton: Mm.

802

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

803

:

Okay?

804

:

And when that happens, you

know, there's no judgment.

805

:

and, and you, you lose the

ability to problem solve.

806

:

Russell Newton: It's, sorry,

807

:

I'm not conversant enough

with everything to, to keep it

808

:

flowing smoothly in my head.

809

:

The hypothalamus, a term that is, we talk

come across frequently in this, in many

810

:

other areas really, and a lot of reading.

811

:

Is it lizard Brain?

812

:

Is that the hypothalamus?

813

:

Us.

814

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

815

:

well that's not quite the, the

lister brain is really more

816

:

about back here your amygdala is.

817

:

That's your limbic system.

818

:

Let me,

819

:

Russell Newton: Okay.

820

:

Okay.

821

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

822

:

a quick and dirty thumbnail sketch.

823

:

Is that okay?

824

:

Russell Newton: please.

825

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

826

:

Okay.

827

:

So lemme get on camera here.

828

:

This is my hand and, in the center here.

829

:

Is the thalamus in the

hypothalamus and something called

830

:

the ventral te mental area.

831

:

And that's where your dopamine is made

hugely important 'cause there's only one

832

:

place in the brain where that's made.

833

:

Then this thing here, my thumb,

that is where your, amygdala

834

:

and your hippocampus live.

835

:

Now, your amygdala is, the organ that

sends out cortisol and also triggers

836

:

your adrenal glands on top of your

kidneys to send out adrenaline.

837

:

The hippocampus, which doesn't look

anything like a hippo by the way, is

838

:

what's in charge of memory and learning.

839

:

So has arranged it so that our nerve

center, our fear center and our learning

840

:

center are super closely co-located.

841

:

And we'll, that will come it's more

important to know where the tigers

842

:

are than the strawberries, right?

843

:

So you gotta, okay, so this fold

in like this, this goes like that.

844

:

And this is the gray crinkly

part you're used to seeing.

845

:

That's your cortex.

846

:

And up here is where your, you

know, again, your hypothalamus

847

:

is in the center there.

848

:

and then here where my fingernails

are in the front, that's this part.

849

:

That's your prefrontal cortex.

850

:

So, way it's designed to work

is your amygdala sends out a

851

:

signal, danger, danger, something

bad's gonna happen, right?

852

:

so the message goes up and your prefrontal

cortex says, okay, I'll check it out.

853

:

So they send out the optics, they

send out the hands, and we look around

854

:

and we feel around, oh, stand down.

855

:

No problem.

856

:

It was a shadow.

857

:

You know, it was a trick of the light.

858

:

And so the amygdala says,

oh, okay, so stands down.

859

:

if you have anxiety disorder

860

:

Russell Newton: Right.

861

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

862

:

or you have something like, bipolar

disorder in, the manic phase, or you are

863

:

schizophrenic and, and you're psychotic,

you're full, of dopamine and adrenaline

864

:

your pre-filing cortex is offline,

and that's why crazy things happen.

865

:

Does that make sense?

866

:

Russell Newton: Yes, absolutely

867

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

868

:

So in the rest of us and a milder

version, if we, if we, are anxious a

869

:

lot or we worry a lot, our brain begins

to develop connections such that it

870

:

will bypass the prefrontal cortex.

871

:

So when the prefrontal cortex

finally catches up and says,

872

:

oh, it's not as dangerous, fine,

the media says, don't care.

873

:

Don't care

874

:

Russell Newton: right.

875

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

876

:

sending out chemicals.

877

:

So the moral of the story is

don't think with your thumb.

878

:

You, you gotta be sure.

879

:

You gotta be sure you got

the whole mechanism going.

880

:

But that's why never say

this, please never say this.

881

:

If you've got someone who's having

a panic attack or, or they're being

882

:

very anxious, don't say, calm down,

883

:

Russell Newton: Just calm down.

884

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

885

:

don't say that because they're

probably gonna deck you.

886

:

It's really bad idea.

887

:

'cause of course, if they

could do that, they would.

888

:

But some of the energy psychology

techniques that I teach help them

889

:

when they are in that situation so

that they can access their ability

890

:

to calm themselves down again and

perceive reality more accurately.

891

:

That was a long story, but I hope that

892

:

Russell Newton: No,

that's, that is spot on.

893

:

Thank you for that.

894

:

yeah, the, the just calm down part, as

you said, if they could, they would, it's

895

:

just, it's like telling someone don't be

afraid or you shouldn't feel that way.

896

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

897

:

yes.

898

:

Oh,

899

:

Russell Newton: those things

are just incredible invalidator,

900

:

and we tell ourselves that too.

901

:

I shouldn't be afraid to do that.

902

:

I, I should, you know, and

I'm, I wrote this down because

903

:

you said you don't do shoulds.

904

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

905

:

I'm so glad you brought that up.

906

:

Russell Newton: Let's go into that.

907

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

908

:

Let's go into that.

909

:

Indeed.

910

:

Okay.

911

:

shoulds are shame words.

912

:

Shame words should supposed to, to.

913

:

it suggests that there's some

magical bar that if only we

914

:

Russell Newton: Hmm

915

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

916

:

that then we're gonna, we're

gonna be okay, but there's no bar.

917

:

We

918

:

Russell Newton: mm-hmm.

919

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

920

:

bar.

921

:

So what you have to do, first of

all, is take those words out of

922

:

your vocabulary and throw them

away replace them with want.

923

:

Need and demand.

924

:

an example.

925

:

'cause people say, oh, come on,

doctor C, that can't be that powerful.

926

:

It's one little word I

use shit all the time.

927

:

I said, okay, we'll try this.

928

:

You got some dirty laundry, most of us do.

929

:

And you say, I should do my laundry.

930

:

won't do it.

931

:

You'll not do it.

932

:

do anything but that.

933

:

However, if you say, yeah, I need

to do some laundry, you'll throw it

934

:

in the machine, maybe stream a movie

when the thing goes off, put it in the

935

:

dryer, finish the movie laundry done.

936

:

So the difference between being shamed

into something and owning that has

937

:

importance to you, makes all the

difference in the world in terms of your

938

:

ability to function, feel good about

yourself, and frankly, get things done.

939

:

V Floggings will continue until morale

improves, does not do the trick.

940

:

Russell Newton: And this, you

know, as you were saying that,

941

:

this ties into child rearing,

942

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

943

:

Oh yeah.

944

:

Russell Newton: a a lot in my opinion,

and maybe, I don't wanna say in my

945

:

experience to make it sound like I was,

I was raised this way, but, I think a

946

:

lot of children are, are parents try to

shame a child into doing something because

947

:

they, they should for some magical reason.

948

:

but that's, it's probably not

the best way to present that, to,

949

:

you know, the, they're logical,

functioning and all that are limited.

950

:

So there's things there

that you have to do.

951

:

But, that whole shaming

process is, is used a lot.

952

:

probably throughout all our lives and we

don't recognize it as much as we should

953

:

and do what we can to eliminate it.

954

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

955

:

Did you hear that?

956

:

You just said should.

957

:

Russell Newton: We should.

958

:

That's right.

959

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

960

:

it is.

961

:

See?

962

:

See how prevalent it is.

963

:

Okay, so let's talk about

964

:

Russell Newton: See,

that's how good you are.

965

:

You, you pulled that out of

the sentence just like that

966

:

because you've practiced this.

967

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

968

:

what I do.

969

:

Russell Newton: I should

be better at that.

970

:

It

971

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

972

:

so, remorse is when you feel badly for

doing something, you've, you've done

973

:

something wrong, you've made a mistake.

974

:

Okay?

975

:

Shame implies that you are a mistake.

976

:

You're fundamentally flawed.

977

:

If only you were the

978

:

Russell Newton: Wow.

979

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

980

:

of person, you would do this or that.

981

:

So it's a very destructive, horrible word,

and it's just, you gotta get rid of it.

982

:

It's a bad, bad, bad thing.

983

:

However, let's say you've got a kid

and, they got into an argument with

984

:

another kid, which happens all the time.

985

:

And, so you go in and see this

squabble going on and say,

986

:

you know, what's going on?

987

:

And, the, the victim in the

story says, well, he was mean

988

:

to me and he did this and that.

989

:

I said, oh, well, why was he mean to you?

990

:

Well.

991

:

Well, I took his truck.

992

:

Oh, I see.

993

:

Russell Newton: Ah, you got it.

994

:

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

995

:

So then I would say, instead of shame on

you, go over there and say you're sorry.

996

:

I would say, Hmm.

997

:

How do you suppose he feels about that?

998

:

Probably not good.

999

:

Well, how's his face look over there.

:

00:44:48,175 --> 00:44:51,625

How's he, does he, does

he look happy or sad?

:

00:44:51,625 --> 00:44:52,375

What do you think?

:

00:44:52,765 --> 00:44:53,935

He looks kind of sad.

:

00:44:54,235 --> 00:44:56,575

Okay, well how about we go

over and talk to him about that

:

00:45:00,145 --> 00:45:02,150

and pretty soon, of course they're

best of friends and that, and

:

00:45:02,155 --> 00:45:02,875

that's the end of the story.

:

00:45:03,085 --> 00:45:06,535

But basically what you've

taught that child is a lot about

:

00:45:06,535 --> 00:45:08,335

compassionate conflict solution.

:

00:45:09,621 --> 00:45:11,836

Russell Newton: Now that is so strong and

I think I'm, I'm probably interrupting

:

00:45:11,836 --> 00:45:15,586

you here 'cause I think you had

probably some follow on comments there,

:

00:45:15,586 --> 00:45:22,636

but I would frequently find myself

saying, you shouldn't have done that.

:

00:45:22,696 --> 00:45:22,996

Right?

:

00:45:23,266 --> 00:45:23,956

I took his truck.

:

00:45:23,986 --> 00:45:24,976

Well, you shouldn't have done that.

:

00:45:25,156 --> 00:45:28,996

That doesn't mean anything to a child

or to an employee or to a spouse.

:

00:45:28,996 --> 00:45:30,916

It doesn't matter what

age we're talking about.

:

00:45:30,946 --> 00:45:35,206

You shouldn't have, it's just, I'm

just keeping more shame on you.

:

00:45:35,206 --> 00:45:38,566

But the, the concept of saying,

okay, you took his truck.

:

00:45:39,766 --> 00:45:44,026

I'm not saying that's good or bad, I just

want you to look at him and see what that.

:

00:45:44,461 --> 00:45:48,721

If what effect your actions had

on that person, and then you can

:

00:45:48,721 --> 00:45:50,491

decide internally where that falls.

:

00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:51,361

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:45:51,361 --> 00:45:51,650

Yeah.

:

00:45:51,745 --> 00:45:57,285

I'll have to tell you, when I was teaching

years ago, one of the things I loved more

:

00:45:57,285 --> 00:46:01,605

than anything else, because of course,

you know, you can look up anything,

:

00:46:01,785 --> 00:46:07,815

you can read a book about anything, but

who you become as a person everything.

:

00:46:08,985 --> 00:46:13,665

And I had this little girl and I got

her when she was in the second grade.

:

00:46:13,665 --> 00:46:16,605

She couldn't read a word, could not

read everybody giving up on her.

:

00:46:18,130 --> 00:46:21,405

And so I realized that instead of

a visual learner or an auditory

:

00:46:21,405 --> 00:46:23,835

learner, she was what's called

a tactical kinesthetic learner.

:

00:46:24,105 --> 00:46:26,385

So she had to feel things to learn them.

:

00:46:27,105 --> 00:46:31,155

we started making all these, three

by five cards, and every time she'd

:

00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:34,095

learn a new word, we'd write it in

glue and then put glitter on it.

:

00:46:34,971 --> 00:46:35,571

Russell Newton: Oh, nice.

:

00:46:35,685 --> 00:46:35,686

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:46:35,686 --> 00:46:36,585

she had this,

:

00:46:36,716 --> 00:46:36,836

Russell Newton: I.

:

00:46:36,945 --> 00:46:36,946

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:46:36,946 --> 00:46:40,005

little box she carried with her

everywhere, with all these words, right?

:

00:46:40,425 --> 00:46:44,945

So we would play, word games,

and of course, part of teaching

:

00:46:44,945 --> 00:46:46,325

kids is you teach 'em how to win.

:

00:46:46,325 --> 00:46:47,915

You teach 'em how to lose, right?

:

00:46:47,915 --> 00:46:48,635

You do both.

:

00:46:48,725 --> 00:46:51,485

And so sometimes I would

lose a game very badly.

:

00:46:52,265 --> 00:46:53,645

I may cry when I tell you the story.

:

00:46:54,905 --> 00:46:57,515

one day I, I made sure that I lost badly.

:

00:46:57,515 --> 00:47:00,155

And I said, oh, I didn't

do a good job at all.

:

00:47:00,155 --> 00:47:02,615

I, I didn't, I don't know my words.

:

00:47:02,615 --> 00:47:05,525

And I, I did not do a good job at all.

:

00:47:06,155 --> 00:47:10,490

So she's packing the cards back

in the box and she says, Ms.

:

00:47:10,490 --> 00:47:11,975

Cochran, worry.

:

00:47:12,755 --> 00:47:16,535

You can take the carts home this

weekend and practice, and I know

:

00:47:16,535 --> 00:47:19,835

when you come back on Monday

you'll be able to win the game.

:

00:47:20,795 --> 00:47:21,185

Oh,

:

00:47:23,345 --> 00:47:25,055

there I can die happy now.

:

00:47:26,021 --> 00:47:26,141

Russell Newton: Hmm.

:

00:47:27,635 --> 00:47:27,636

' Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:29,885

cause she can always

learn words and she will.

:

00:47:30,035 --> 00:47:31,865

She went on to be a

very successful person.

:

00:47:31,865 --> 00:47:35,825

But it was the empathy, it was the

compassion, it was the reassurance

:

00:47:35,825 --> 00:47:40,025

you can be successful, which is

the opposite of shame, which is

:

00:47:40,235 --> 00:47:41,675

there's no way you can be successful.

:

00:47:44,225 --> 00:47:45,185

What is wrong with you?

:

00:47:45,185 --> 00:47:49,835

You shouldn't do that

versus, okay, so, Hmm.

:

00:47:50,675 --> 00:47:52,175

Are you happy with that choice?

:

00:47:53,195 --> 00:47:57,305

Is it taking you closer to or further

away from where you want to be?

:

00:47:58,715 --> 00:48:01,175

That's a really important

question to ask yourself all the

:

00:48:01,251 --> 00:48:03,561

Russell Newton: you're an author, you're

a published author, I believe, and we

:

00:48:03,561 --> 00:48:04,731

haven't talked about your book at all.

:

00:48:04,731 --> 00:48:07,361

Can you tell us, about your book

and, or books if you have them?

:

00:48:07,805 --> 00:48:07,806

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:48:07,806 --> 00:48:10,955

Well, there are actually several,

but, my favorite, well one of

:

00:48:10,955 --> 00:48:12,155

them is what are you afraid of?

:

00:48:12,295 --> 00:48:14,185

you know, fears, big topic.

:

00:48:14,615 --> 00:48:17,315

another one is, Nagi and

the Secrets of the Universe.

:

00:48:17,645 --> 00:48:22,635

And it's about a young man who, won't

do what he loves 'cause he's so afraid

:

00:48:22,635 --> 00:48:24,285

of failing, that he goes out and

:

00:48:24,471 --> 00:48:24,711

Russell Newton: Hmm.

:

00:48:25,305 --> 00:48:25,306

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:48:25,306 --> 00:48:26,115

else in the world.

:

00:48:26,955 --> 00:48:29,595

And then all of a sudden one day

he realizes, well, this is silly.

:

00:48:30,315 --> 00:48:31,545

he goes off and pursues his dream.

:

00:48:31,695 --> 00:48:35,265

And then the last one, which is

my favorite of the three, is,

:

00:48:35,325 --> 00:48:36,915

Sylvia and the Magic Power Sticks.

:

00:48:37,365 --> 00:48:41,370

And it's a story about, a princess

and she lives in a castle with

:

00:48:41,370 --> 00:48:45,060

her family, and she likes to see

the magic that's all around us.

:

00:48:45,825 --> 00:48:48,525

And she's always inviting her

family to see the magic with her.

:

00:48:48,525 --> 00:48:53,055

And they're always saying, Sylvia,

Sylvia, Sylvia, what's to become of you?

:

00:48:53,865 --> 00:48:54,675

is ridiculous.

:

00:48:54,705 --> 00:48:59,025

Okay, finally she meets a

lot of magical creatures.

:

00:48:59,025 --> 00:49:02,655

And basically they say, okay,

here's some power sticks.

:

00:49:03,105 --> 00:49:06,435

These are gonna keep you safe,

but the thing you have to remember

:

00:49:06,435 --> 00:49:10,665

is you can't other people see

what they're not ready to see.

:

00:49:12,495 --> 00:49:18,495

So disappears, and Sylvia basically

goes back and tries to get her family

:

00:49:18,945 --> 00:49:25,125

to see all this wonderful magic, they

still won't do it, but she and her

:

00:49:25,665 --> 00:49:29,235

other friends and her magic powers

sticks live happily ever after.

:

00:49:30,435 --> 00:49:34,755

So the point of that is

create our own world.

:

00:49:35,925 --> 00:49:39,855

We make the world we live in with

our thoughts and our feelings, and

:

00:49:39,855 --> 00:49:44,505

the things we repeat and the words

that we choose create realities.

:

00:49:46,185 --> 00:49:50,445

And that is the most powerful thing I

know to tell you other than to give you

:

00:49:50,445 --> 00:49:53,055

this question when you're uncertain.

:

00:49:53,055 --> 00:49:55,875

Ask yourself, what would

I do if I weren't afraid?

:

00:49:57,975 --> 00:49:59,505

And then you'll know exactly what to do.

:

00:50:05,171 --> 00:50:07,781

Russell Newton: I think you just

answered my, my last question of

:

00:50:07,781 --> 00:50:11,681

the podcast generally is, what, what

would be a parting, piece of advice

:

00:50:11,681 --> 00:50:14,991

that you would give and that, that

sounds like, that might have been it.

:

00:50:15,271 --> 00:50:16,771

let me ask one final question and then

:

00:50:17,045 --> 00:50:17,046

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:50:17,046 --> 00:50:18,005

don't think with your thumb.

:

00:50:19,441 --> 00:50:21,751

Russell Newton: don't think with your

thumb, yes, that's not, that's a good,

:

00:50:21,811 --> 00:50:24,001

a reminder, but what we covered already.

:

00:50:24,001 --> 00:50:25,271

So, Dr.

:

00:50:25,271 --> 00:50:30,461

Margaret Cochran, the website

is just that dr cochran.com,

:

00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:32,351

no spaces, no underscores or anything.

:

00:50:32,651 --> 00:50:35,541

A lot of information there on

the Reese on, what services are

:

00:50:35,541 --> 00:50:39,401

available, how to contact you, what

else can we find on your website.

:

00:50:39,731 --> 00:50:40,766

Is there anything else

that we should point out?

:

00:50:41,475 --> 00:50:41,476

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:50:41,476 --> 00:50:45,015

not really, just kind of who

I am, what I do and, and what

:

00:50:45,015 --> 00:50:46,095

options there are for you.

:

00:50:46,405 --> 00:50:48,565

I like to, I like to work with people.

:

00:50:49,495 --> 00:50:54,025

the nice thing about, the internet is that

now I work with people all over the world

:

00:50:54,781 --> 00:50:55,231

Russell Newton: Oh, do you?

:

00:50:55,231 --> 00:50:55,591

Okay.

:

00:50:55,891 --> 00:50:55,892

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:50:55,892 --> 00:50:57,175

which is really fun.

:

00:50:57,175 --> 00:50:58,075

It's so fun.

:

00:50:58,345 --> 00:51:04,555

And, the other thing is because I use

the title coach, then I'm not limited by,

:

00:51:04,585 --> 00:51:08,395

you know, like when I, if, if I'm, I'm a

licensed clinical social worker, but I can

:

00:51:08,395 --> 00:51:10,405

only do that in the bounds of California

:

00:51:11,161 --> 00:51:11,581

Russell Newton: Right.

:

00:51:11,605 --> 00:51:11,606

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:11,606 --> 00:51:14,155

unfortunately we don't have reciprocal

licensing in the United States.

:

00:51:14,155 --> 00:51:16,375

So you have to get licensed

in each state, which is

:

00:51:16,676 --> 00:51:17,206

Russell Newton: Each state.

:

00:51:17,206 --> 00:51:17,486

Yeah.

:

00:51:17,786 --> 00:51:17,787

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:17,787 --> 00:51:18,715

anyway, that's the rule.

:

00:51:18,715 --> 00:51:21,175

So, but coaching I can do anywhere.

:

00:51:21,841 --> 00:51:22,351

Russell Newton: Okay.

:

00:51:22,651 --> 00:51:22,652

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:22,652 --> 00:51:27,445

So anywhere anybody is in the world,

I can do coaching with them and it

:

00:51:27,445 --> 00:51:30,355

is such an honor and so much fun.

:

00:51:30,355 --> 00:51:31,315

I love what I do.

:

00:51:34,426 --> 00:51:35,591

Russell Newton: It, is fascinating.

:

00:51:35,591 --> 00:51:36,911

You have such a great insight.

:

00:51:36,911 --> 00:51:37,121

Somebody.

:

00:51:37,961 --> 00:51:43,391

So many pieces of wisdom, I would

imagine you are a fantastic, a fantastic

:

00:51:43,391 --> 00:51:46,931

life coach if anybody's looking

for a clinical licensed clinical

:

00:51:46,931 --> 00:51:49,265

psychologist to be their life coach.

:

00:51:49,565 --> 00:51:49,566

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:49,566 --> 00:51:50,391

Social Mm-hmm.

:

00:51:51,142 --> 00:51:51,472

Russell Newton: okay.

:

00:51:51,472 --> 00:51:51,802

Thank you.

:

00:51:51,802 --> 00:51:52,312

Sorry for the,

:

00:51:52,396 --> 00:51:52,397

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:52,397 --> 00:51:52,516

Sorry,

:

00:51:52,612 --> 00:51:53,362

Russell Newton: that I,

:

00:51:53,416 --> 00:51:53,417

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:51:53,417 --> 00:51:54,226

Gotta say it right.

:

00:51:54,982 --> 00:51:55,372

Russell Newton: okay.

:

00:51:55,672 --> 00:51:58,332

It's important, and I don't

know enough about it to, to even

:

00:51:58,332 --> 00:51:59,622

get it pronounced correctly.

:

00:51:59,832 --> 00:52:03,062

I also noticed that one of the first,

blog posts you refer to is that on

:

00:52:03,062 --> 00:52:06,002

your page at the moment at least, is

the Enneagram, which I'd hope to talk

:

00:52:06,002 --> 00:52:08,262

about, but, maybe in a future episode.

:

00:52:08,742 --> 00:52:11,202

and so many other things I

think that we could discuss.

:

00:52:11,202 --> 00:52:14,412

But, here's my second and final

question since we've answered the last

:

00:52:14,412 --> 00:52:16,212

one already, and then we'll be done.

:

00:52:18,837 --> 00:52:22,387

I wrap up the podcast with a, a mention

of Stephen Covey's book, the Seven

:

00:52:22,387 --> 00:52:26,767

Habits of Highly Successful People, and

I ask our guests, what do they find in

:

00:52:26,767 --> 00:52:32,717

their personal lives that they would,

that they consider the non-negotiables,

:

00:52:32,817 --> 00:52:35,157

that make them, the person they are.

:

00:52:35,522 --> 00:52:38,037

And, and I'm not asking for

a seven, but do you have, do

:

00:52:38,037 --> 00:52:39,087

you have a handful of things?

:

00:52:39,427 --> 00:52:41,887

I have a feeling you, you'd

probably meditate, or do

:

00:52:41,887 --> 00:52:43,417

some mindfulness practices.

:

00:52:43,499 --> 00:52:48,297

p perhaps you are, have certain physical

activities you do, or, or certain things

:

00:52:48,297 --> 00:52:51,747

that from day to day in your morning

stack, as we were discussed in a previous

:

00:52:51,747 --> 00:52:55,437

episode, that you would share with our

listeners that they should consider or

:

00:52:55,437 --> 00:53:00,357

that have proven efficacy for, for people

in their own self-development process.

:

00:53:01,071 --> 00:53:01,072

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:53:01,072 --> 00:53:05,271

Well, I teach something called Urban

Gorilla Meditation, and I call it

:

00:53:05,271 --> 00:53:10,401

that because, because it's, most of

us don't have time to sit for an hour,

:

00:53:10,401 --> 00:53:13,871

an hour and a half, you know, so it's,

it's an abbreviated process, but, The

:

00:53:13,871 --> 00:53:17,981

important things for me and that I

teach people are one, have a gratitude

:

00:53:17,981 --> 00:53:20,921

practice every single day, twice a day.

:

00:53:21,161 --> 00:53:22,481

Go through what you're grateful for.

:

00:53:22,691 --> 00:53:25,061

And it doesn't necessarily

have to be anything huge.

:

00:53:25,061 --> 00:53:27,131

It can be your favorite

purple dinosaur socks.

:

00:53:27,191 --> 00:53:29,861

Just, I'm, I'm so happy and

grateful I have these socks.

:

00:53:30,071 --> 00:53:32,261

I'm so happy and grateful I

got to be on your podcast.

:

00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:35,591

I'm so happy and grateful

that you're such a lovely man.

:

00:53:35,771 --> 00:53:39,041

I'm so happy and grateful for all

the people that we're reaching today.

:

00:53:39,221 --> 00:53:40,301

You know, that kind of thing.

:

00:53:40,751 --> 00:53:43,691

Now, what we know, again,

we're back to brains.

:

00:53:43,841 --> 00:53:48,911

If you practice that over about 28

days, you literally rewire your brain.

:

00:53:49,211 --> 00:53:52,901

You become more resilient, your sleep

improves, you have more frustration,

:

00:53:52,901 --> 00:53:54,221

tolerance, lots of good things.

:

00:53:55,121 --> 00:53:58,921

another one is, my work, my work

is a spiritual practice for me.

:

00:54:00,226 --> 00:54:02,596

It's about giving back to the

universe, and I consider it a

:

00:54:02,596 --> 00:54:04,906

sacred honor and a great joy.

:

00:54:04,906 --> 00:54:07,366

So my work is part of my pleasure.

:

00:54:07,486 --> 00:54:09,866

And then being with animals, of course,

:

00:54:10,166 --> 00:54:10,496

Russell Newton: Okay,

:

00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:10,521

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:54:10,521 --> 00:54:11,450

is a great joy.

:

00:54:11,510 --> 00:54:17,240

and also, absolutely physical exercise

and eating foods that don't have

:

00:54:17,240 --> 00:54:18,365

names you can't pronounce in 'em.

:

00:54:20,636 --> 00:54:21,926

Russell Newton: there's

more than five ingredients.

:

00:54:21,926 --> 00:54:22,586

Don't eat it right?

:

00:54:22,586 --> 00:54:23,216

Is that what they say?

:

00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:23,241

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:54:23,241 --> 00:54:23,420

Yeah.

:

00:54:26,666 --> 00:54:27,746

Russell Newton: An amazing conversation.

:

00:54:27,926 --> 00:54:28,256

Dr.

:

00:54:28,256 --> 00:54:30,056

Cochrane, thank you so much for your time.

:

00:54:30,246 --> 00:54:31,386

listeners, Dr.

:

00:54:31,386 --> 00:54:32,436

Margaret Cochrane.

:

00:54:32,526 --> 00:54:34,886

You can, check out her website at Dr.

:

00:54:34,886 --> 00:54:39,516

Cochrane, C-O-C-H-R-A-N, dr cochran.com.

:

00:54:40,026 --> 00:54:40,416

and Dr.

:

00:54:40,416 --> 00:54:43,421

Margaret, I hope, I, I hope you've

enjoyed this session as much as I have

:

00:54:43,421 --> 00:54:44,621

because it's been very enlightening.

:

00:54:45,071 --> 00:54:47,201

There's so many things I

think we could talk about.

:

00:54:47,411 --> 00:54:51,231

Perhaps we can, have a follow up

episode, after some time has passed

:

00:54:51,231 --> 00:54:54,181

and, maybe our listeners have some

questions that they want to drop in

:

00:54:54,181 --> 00:54:55,561

and we can refer to them later on.

:

00:54:55,921 --> 00:54:55,922

Dr. Margaret Cochran:

:

00:54:55,922 --> 00:54:56,621

I'd be delighted.

:

00:54:56,641 --> 00:54:57,261

Thank you so much.

:

00:54:57,441 --> 00:54:58,141

It was so much

:

00:54:58,217 --> 00:54:59,237

Russell Newton: Oh, fantastic.

:

00:54:59,537 --> 00:55:00,167

Fantastic.

:

00:55:00,167 --> 00:55:02,297

and that wraps up our episode for today.

:

00:55:02,297 --> 00:55:04,337

Thank you for joining us

and we'll see you next week.

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Voice over Work - An Audiobook Sampler
Audiobook synopsises for the masses
You know that guy that reads all the time, and always has a book recommendation for you?

Well, I read and/or produce hundreds of audiobooks a year, and when I read one that has good material, I feature it here. This is my Recommended Listening list. These choices are not influenced by authors or sponsors, just books worthy of your consideration.

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Russell Newton